It is with a heavy heart that I report the death of our beloved Sauron and Voldemort. Last week, Voldemort was seen streaking through the sand without his shell. We wrote it off as a fluke exhibition. Last Friday I noticed that Voldemort appeared to be losing legs, and indeed, when I picked up his shell on Wednesday night, he fell right out of it, dead as a doornail. I figured it was just old age or something (perhaps bad karma from when he brutally murdered Tough Jumbo and his wife, Raki), but then today I noticed that Sauron was not hiding in his shell when I watered him - I picked him up and, plop, he fell out of his shell, too.
It sucks to lose pets.
But I don't think I'll be replacing them any time soon. I told Isaac it was because I wasn't ready to love another crab yet, but the truth is that it stresses me out to be solely responsible for their happiness. I mean, I can only provide care for so many living things, and with all the ticks that have been attaching themselves to my dogs, the living-things-limit has been reached.
Anyway, if you think of it, say a prayer to the Hermit Crab Goddess for their smooth transition into the Hermit Crab Spirit Realm. We'll be having a funeral this weekend, and hopefully their bodies will provide nourishment for Isaac's garden this summer. Farewell, my evil-looking friends. I wish you happiness in the sand pit in the sky.