Grad school = mediocre grades

Yesterday I was trying to explain to Isaac why I had to get my reading done (instead of playing Bionicles with him). I told him that I already got two eights out of ten on the weekly exam for my theory class, and I missed one completely when grandpa died, and I got a nine last week, so I'm officially in the A/B range for this class. I then had to explain that an A/B is not good enough to be an A and not bad enough to be a B.

Then I did something that was probably not my smartest parenting move: I asked him what grade I get as a mom.

He hesitated. For a long time.

A/B. He gave me an A/B. I totally deserve an A/B, but not because of lack of trying - it's just that I don't have enough time. Same problem with my theory class.

But then he said, "I'd rather have you than an A mom, though."

I guess I can handle my mediocrity as long as he still picks me over the A moms. And who knows, maybe next semester will be easier?

Love you grandpa.

Harold E. Metcalf

Harold E. Metcalf, age 88 of Montello passed away Thursday February 5, 2009 at the Wisconsin Veterans Home in King, WI. Born on October 29, 1920 to Robert and Lillian (Roidt) Metcalf in Montello; he attended Montello High School and continued his education with various agricultural classes. Harold served his country in the U.S. Army from September 8th 1942 to September 28th 1945, the majority of his service was spent in the European theatre, even receiving an award from the government of France for fighting on the shores of Normandy. Upon his return he married Lila Salzwedel on August 23, 1947 in Montello and together they had one child.

Harold and Lila farmed in the town of Montello for 30 years. He also worked for the ASCS farm program for many years, as well as a rural mail carrier from 1960 through 1986. He was also active in the Legion Post 351 of Montello and the Princeton VFW.

Harold is survived his wife and one son: Paul (Julie) Metcalf of Montello, 3 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. He is further survived by one brother Daniel Metcalf of La Crosse, WI, one sister Alice Quillen of Rockford, IL and many other relatives and friends.

Harold is preceded in death by his parents, three brothers: Francis, Maurice and Charles Metcalf and four sisters: Lucille Greene, Norma Eastman, Helen Lashock, and Margaret Hickey.

A memorial service was held at 1:00 pm on Sunday February 8, 2009 at the Wisconsin Veterans Home (N2665 County Road QQ, King, WI 54946) in the Answorth Chapel with no visitation. Crawford Funeral Home (formerly Steinhaus-Wachholz) of Montello is serving the family.

Things I remember about Grandpa M.

Lila and Harold "Bill" Metcalf, circa 2006

My grandpa died last week. He was a WWII veteran, he fought on the beaches of Normandy and got a certificate from the French Government thanking him for his service. He also had to go to Germany and clean out concentration camps after the war. He never talked about it.

He was a farmer and later on he was a mailman. He loved white bread and butter. He put salt on his watermelon. He used to say, "What the..." and never finish the sentence. He would yawn really loud about 5:30 and head to bed at 6:00, and then get up at 4:00 a.m. and put the TV on really loud.

One day, my grandpa was on one of his two daily walks (he had heart disease and it was doctor's orders) when he saw a little bird on the sidewalk. It was a cockatiel. He bent down and put his hand by the bird, and the bird crawled up his arm and onto his shoulder. He rode grandpa's shoulder all the way home, and ended up staying there. My grandma put up signs and called the police in case anyone had called looking for a lost bird, but nobody claimed him. They named him Fido.

Grandpa really liked animals, especially the many dogs in his life. He named them all Chips.

My grandma only let grandpa have one place for his stuff - on a table in the garage. It was a huge mess, and had all sorts of weirdo things. Tools, twine, broken stuff that he might have been planning to fix.

One time I asked grandpa for a quarter to get some gum from the corner store, and he said he'd only give me a nickel, because that's how much he used to get when he was a kid. He was a thrifty guy, for sure. He always carried around one of those oval coin things that you squeeze to open, and it was usually bursting with pennies.

When we'd go to visit, we'd ring the doorbell and if he answered, he'd say "We don't want any!" in a crabby voice. It was his favorite joke.

Whenever grandma would nag him too much, he'd make a face behind her back and stick his tongue out.

When my mom and dad went to the hospital when Page was born, my grandpa came to stay with us. My brother and I were scared and we made him sleep between us in mom and dad's bed. I can't remember where grandma was. I do remember that Rob and I were WILD, we were excited, and we were also being loud for the last time because we'd have to be quiet for the new baby. I vaguely remembering grandpa getting pissed and making us go to bed early.

He didn't talk much, but when he did, it was usually hilarious.

I love you, grandpa.

I'm back.

I get by.

Some people save their dedications for their dissertations. I figure if I wait that long, my dedication page will be longer than the actual dissertation. So let's break it up into chunks.

I hereby dedicate this semester to my wonderful friends. Without you, I am sure I would have taken a leave of absence from grad school, and who knows how long THAT would last. I need to be here, with all of you, doing exactly what I'm doing.

~Not in any particular order. Seriously.

GH - I can't even write one for you because I'm really sad that you graduated. (I mean yay! I'm happy for you!)

RS - for a complex, chat-heavy relationship - you've certainly helped me refine my arguments and maybe stop using such "broad brushstrokes". and the public shoulder was exactly what I needed.

CS - to think it all began with a white board protest. the cinnamon rolls. tarot and sage. I'm so glad.

MN - you were with me on that most important day. I was so grateful to have you there. I didn't tell you this but I might have chickened out if I had gone alone.

EM - you have no idea that I secretly take you to the grocery store because it keeps Isaac entertained and therefore more bearable for me. It's a total win-win.

MD - I can't believe you were able to make me laugh when I was feeling so bad. It saved me.

PM - there are certain things that can only be discussed with a sister.

AE - that cloud analogy is the best therapy I've ever had, my rabbi.

HA - is it weird that we're such good friends? I don't think so. we're gonna be visiting each other around the world from now on.

IB - you know you're my idol, mostly because you are comfortable with who you are. that makes you confident. i feel honored that you trust me with your girls and your friendship.

One reason that spring is my least preferred season.

Proof that my kitchen can be clean.

The cleanliness of my kitchen is positively correlated with intense work loads that require creative forms of procrastination. After cleaning my kitchen, I entered the song titles for all of the "unknown" tracks in my iTunes library.