Monday, January 03, 2011

I swear I didn't wear that carhart hat to make me look more authentically working class. It's just a really warm hat.

I love to protest things. I don't know how much good it does, but for today, it felt really good to go outside and yell. Today was my first day back to reality after sleeping 14-18 hours per day, watching lots of tv, and eating only cereal for a week. Isaac went back to school and I tried to go back to work.

In addition to attending the protest, I tackled some of the most important things on my to-do list, but I still have a scary pile to go through and some big projects to finish in the next two weeks. I wish I could find a happy medium between the hyper relaxation (best oxymoron ever?) of last week and the anxiety of today. Why is it so difficult for me to do things in moderation?

My gut hurts all the time, and I don't think the acid blockers are working. I am going vegan for a month to see what happens. It hurts that bad. I should also stop smoking and drinking diet coke, but that is really a lot of hard changes. I am close. Last time I quit both of those things, it really didn't help. Honest. But I'm almost ready to try again. Maybe.

Isaac got his spacers put in for his first orthodontic device today. Spacers hurt worse than the actual braces. Poor guy. He needed a nurturing mom, but I was exhausted all day and didn't do much for him beyond giving him painkillers. And now I feel guilty. Apparently he told Masud that I sleep all the time. I don't think that's quite fair but I do sleep a lot during the afternoon. Just naps though. I'm tired, I can't help it.

And now it's 11:44 pm and I'm blogging. Guilt, self-loathing, procrastination. It's what I do best.

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