Things I want to blog about:

Why is it that academics become so focused on their work that they (we, I) can't see the direct implications for research in everyday life? (ex. - the debate about moving to a full funding model in my department.)

The connection between people's political ideology and their different levels of selfishness as individuals fascinates me. Republicans seem very macro-selfish, but the ones I know individually are really not that way at all. Cognitive dissonance?

What do people mean when they tell me to "work smarter"? And why does it make me so fucking angry?! I think it has something to do with the fact that the people who are telling me to do this have no idea what my life is actually like, and maybe that this is the smartest I can be, and if that ain't good enough, shove it.

I'm not really sure that I like teaching, but that may be because I really don't like being a TA, not because of the whole teaching thing. I need to think about this more.

I've had an exercise breakthrough. I still vehemently hate exercise and am not convinced that it's the awesome thing that people make it out to be (much like Apple products), but I actually experienced some positive benefits this semester from regular exercise. Too bad I don't have time to keep doing it.

Xmas in January

I love winter. I love giving presents to my loved ones, things I've thought about carefully and purchased or made for specific people. I love getting presents, too.

But I hate the financial pressure of Xmas in the US. There are so many sales, deals, free shipping coupons and incentives to buy at this time of year. Gift suggestions clutter my inbox - websites remembered what I did last year and conveniently suggest ideas that often are eerily appropriate. It simultaneously freaks me out and makes me love the possibilities of the internet.

As my immediate family grows (more on my long lost brother to come), it becomes difficult to afford xmas. At what point do I have to draw the line and stop doing this? Or should I instead focus on birthdays? There is a conflict in my soul between the fulfillment of tradition at xmas and my disgust at the marketization of tradition.

It's such a trap.

But this year, we decided months in advance that we would all prefer to put our family celebration off for a year. It has given me permission to immediately archive any promotional emails that come in my inbox. I am not surfing websites looking for gifts and getting sidetracked into buying stuff I don't need. I am disengaged from the xmas franchise. And I love it. I'm still looking forward to our family gathering in January, and maybe there will be presents, but it will be removed from the hot mess of xmas in america.

It gives me hope that we can actively reinvent our traditions, retaining the heart of our gathering and removing the destructive effects of capitalism. Ok, maybe not completely, but at least the craziness of the holiday season will be over. In fact, aren't there big sales in January too?

How I have already mentally spent my financial aid check that I expect to receive in January.

(in no particular order, just as I think of them)

1. Xmas presents (we are all broke and doing xmas in January this year.) $200

2. Isaac's first orthodontic device. Holy expensive. $400 after insurance

3. My 6th crown, costs almost half my monthly salary even with supplemental dental. $650 after insurance

4. A new splint to wear at night so I stop breaking my teeth. $200 after insurance

5. Membership to the Y so Isaac and I can go swimming. $noIdea

6. Isaac's swimming lessons. $20 each

7. Private piano and cello lessons for Isaac $no idea

8. Cello for Isaac (this is part of #1) $200

9. New winter boots $50

10. New clothes (oh my goddess I need them so badly) $200

10a. New clothes for Isaac (needs some new underwear stat.) $200

11. Get piano tuned $100

12. 100,000 mile maintenance on my Honda $300

13. New glasses with my new prescription $50 (this will get 3-4 pairs on Zennioptical.com)

14. Pay off old bills from non-aggressive creditors. $250

15. Red low-lights $40

16. Membership to Villaris $60/mo

17. save some in case I don't get a job this summer and have to live on the street $5000

18. Snowshoes $>$100 for both Isaac and me

19. TATTOO on my right calf of a peacock or some flowers. $250

20.

I know I'll think of more.

I know you googled me!

Ha! Caught you!

This blog is silly, but there are some juicy bits near the middle. Someday my life will become interesting again and I'll be back.

Until then...

Grad school = mediocre grades

Yesterday I was trying to explain to Isaac why I had to get my reading done (instead of playing Bionicles with him). I told him that I already got two eights out of ten on the weekly exam for my theory class, and I missed one completely when grandpa died, and I got a nine last week, so I'm officially in the A/B range for this class. I then had to explain that an A/B is not good enough to be an A and not bad enough to be a B.

Then I did something that was probably not my smartest parenting move: I asked him what grade I get as a mom.

He hesitated. For a long time.

A/B. He gave me an A/B. I totally deserve an A/B, but not because of lack of trying - it's just that I don't have enough time. Same problem with my theory class.

But then he said, "I'd rather have you than an A mom, though."

I guess I can handle my mediocrity as long as he still picks me over the A moms. And who knows, maybe next semester will be easier?

Love you grandpa.

Harold E. Metcalf

Harold E. Metcalf, age 88 of Montello passed away Thursday February 5, 2009 at the Wisconsin Veterans Home in King, WI. Born on October 29, 1920 to Robert and Lillian (Roidt) Metcalf in Montello; he attended Montello High School and continued his education with various agricultural classes. Harold served his country in the U.S. Army from September 8th 1942 to September 28th 1945, the majority of his service was spent in the European theatre, even receiving an award from the government of France for fighting on the shores of Normandy. Upon his return he married Lila Salzwedel on August 23, 1947 in Montello and together they had one child.

Harold and Lila farmed in the town of Montello for 30 years. He also worked for the ASCS farm program for many years, as well as a rural mail carrier from 1960 through 1986. He was also active in the Legion Post 351 of Montello and the Princeton VFW.

Harold is survived his wife and one son: Paul (Julie) Metcalf of Montello, 3 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. He is further survived by one brother Daniel Metcalf of La Crosse, WI, one sister Alice Quillen of Rockford, IL and many other relatives and friends.

Harold is preceded in death by his parents, three brothers: Francis, Maurice and Charles Metcalf and four sisters: Lucille Greene, Norma Eastman, Helen Lashock, and Margaret Hickey.

A memorial service was held at 1:00 pm on Sunday February 8, 2009 at the Wisconsin Veterans Home (N2665 County Road QQ, King, WI 54946) in the Answorth Chapel with no visitation. Crawford Funeral Home (formerly Steinhaus-Wachholz) of Montello is serving the family.

Things I remember about Grandpa M.

Lila and Harold "Bill" Metcalf, circa 2006

My grandpa died last week. He was a WWII veteran, he fought on the beaches of Normandy and got a certificate from the French Government thanking him for his service. He also had to go to Germany and clean out concentration camps after the war. He never talked about it.

He was a farmer and later on he was a mailman. He loved white bread and butter. He put salt on his watermelon. He used to say, "What the..." and never finish the sentence. He would yawn really loud about 5:30 and head to bed at 6:00, and then get up at 4:00 a.m. and put the TV on really loud.

One day, my grandpa was on one of his two daily walks (he had heart disease and it was doctor's orders) when he saw a little bird on the sidewalk. It was a cockatiel. He bent down and put his hand by the bird, and the bird crawled up his arm and onto his shoulder. He rode grandpa's shoulder all the way home, and ended up staying there. My grandma put up signs and called the police in case anyone had called looking for a lost bird, but nobody claimed him. They named him Fido.

Grandpa really liked animals, especially the many dogs in his life. He named them all Chips.

My grandma only let grandpa have one place for his stuff - on a table in the garage. It was a huge mess, and had all sorts of weirdo things. Tools, twine, broken stuff that he might have been planning to fix.

One time I asked grandpa for a quarter to get some gum from the corner store, and he said he'd only give me a nickel, because that's how much he used to get when he was a kid. He was a thrifty guy, for sure. He always carried around one of those oval coin things that you squeeze to open, and it was usually bursting with pennies.

When we'd go to visit, we'd ring the doorbell and if he answered, he'd say "We don't want any!" in a crabby voice. It was his favorite joke.

Whenever grandma would nag him too much, he'd make a face behind her back and stick his tongue out.

When my mom and dad went to the hospital when Page was born, my grandpa came to stay with us. My brother and I were scared and we made him sleep between us in mom and dad's bed. I can't remember where grandma was. I do remember that Rob and I were WILD, we were excited, and we were also being loud for the last time because we'd have to be quiet for the new baby. I vaguely remembering grandpa getting pissed and making us go to bed early.

He didn't talk much, but when he did, it was usually hilarious.

I love you, grandpa.

I'm back.

I get by.

Some people save their dedications for their dissertations. I figure if I wait that long, my dedication page will be longer than the actual dissertation. So let's break it up into chunks.

I hereby dedicate this semester to my wonderful friends. Without you, I am sure I would have taken a leave of absence from grad school, and who knows how long THAT would last. I need to be here, with all of you, doing exactly what I'm doing.

~Not in any particular order. Seriously.

GH - I can't even write one for you because I'm really sad that you graduated. (I mean yay! I'm happy for you!)

RS - for a complex, chat-heavy relationship - you've certainly helped me refine my arguments and maybe stop using such "broad brushstrokes". and the public shoulder was exactly what I needed.

CS - to think it all began with a white board protest. the cinnamon rolls. tarot and sage. I'm so glad.

MN - you were with me on that most important day. I was so grateful to have you there. I didn't tell you this but I might have chickened out if I had gone alone.

EM - you have no idea that I secretly take you to the grocery store because it keeps Isaac entertained and therefore more bearable for me. It's a total win-win.

MD - I can't believe you were able to make me laugh when I was feeling so bad. It saved me.

PM - there are certain things that can only be discussed with a sister.

AE - that cloud analogy is the best therapy I've ever had, my rabbi.

HA - is it weird that we're such good friends? I don't think so. we're gonna be visiting each other around the world from now on.

IB - you know you're my idol, mostly because you are comfortable with who you are. that makes you confident. i feel honored that you trust me with your girls and your friendship.

One reason that spring is my least preferred season.

Proof that my kitchen can be clean.

The cleanliness of my kitchen is positively correlated with intense work loads that require creative forms of procrastination. After cleaning my kitchen, I entered the song titles for all of the "unknown" tracks in my iTunes library.

I'm almost ready to come back. Is it too soon?

How long would be a respectable hiatus?

There are things I want to blog about, like this. And I will have pictures from Isaac's birthday this weekend.

We'll see.

The time has come...

...for me to take a blogging break. I might come back someday, maybe.

Quickie

I'M SO BUSY!!!

Here's all I can come up with for a post.

Yesterday I almost ate an entire jar of dill pickles for supper. I stopped when there were two left because I might want a pickle or two today and it would be sad if I didn't have any in the house.

Isaac has grown a lot in the past few months, and combined with his 2 lb. weight loss from being sick, he looks like an animate skeleton.

I'm one of the authors on a paper that got accepted to the American Sociological Association meeting for this year. (YAY!)

I am going to Vegas on Thursday and don't know how I'll get all my work done before then. AHHHHHH!

Reader Poll

How long past the expiration date is it ok to eat yogurt? It smells okay...but it expired on the 20th.

Also, let it be known that I kicked some serious to-do list ass today.

Things that happened recently:

• Holy crap, I got busy.
• Isaac was sick and I missed an entire week of school and work.
• I forgot how to skim articles over the break.
  
• I rearranged my bedroom instead of doing school work. It looks great though.
• I stopped drinking coffee and I'm working on quitting Diet Coke, too. (Chemicals, packaging, price, who needs it??)
• I'm almost ready for a new tattoo.
• Isaac and I saw the Gilded Bats live. I'll post pictures as soon as I have time. Isaac totally busted a move, I wish I had video.
• I love my new classes. I will be a methodology expert at the end of this semester.
• I'm going to Las Vegas next week for a conference! I can't wait!!
  

Looz Moshun (Bangla for Diarrhea)

Or "The Awesome Weekend that Wasn't"

OK, so it wasn't a complete wash. I enjoyed watching my dad (and my friends) act in the Montello Community Theater (now known as Standing Room Only Players) production of Lend Me A Tenor. But there was a lot of barfin' and poopin' and feverin' and now there's snottin' and coughin'. I'm hoping this is the only sickness we have to get for the semester. Seriously, yuk.

PLUS, I rear-ended somebody yesterday because of the icy roads and my anti-lock brakes.

PLUS, classes started today and I wasn't ready yet.

Whine whine whine.

Kitchen Angst

Does everybody know how much I hate cooking? Baking is ok - it's like a chemistry experiment. You just put the stuff together in the correct proportions and *shazam* it comes out nice. Cooking is another story. Not only do you have to assemble ingredients in the proper proportions, you have to adjust heat, add seasoning and then taste it throughout the process and change it if necessary. This is too much for me. Perhaps because of my negative attitude, I am a horrible cook.

I also hate grocery shopping because I can never think of anything to buy. My fridge is almost completely empty except for 3 limes, 4 grapefruits and a drawer full of oranges. (All of that citrus is great but I've had the flu for the past 24 hours and I'm not sure it's the best choice right now.) I have no cereal, no bread, no frozen waffles. Isaac is on the couch with a 103 fever and a bucket for barf, so I don't foresee a grocery store trip today. I'm kind of hoping that he doesn't have an appetite so I don't have to figure out what to feed him.

The last complaint I have about kitchens is the never-ending task of washing dishes. This week I let them go for 5 days, but yesterday I realized that it was probably a health risk, so I tackled the pile. It took an hour. There was some rotten broccoli in the sink that was making the house smell like fart. Now I'm staring at the mound of clean dishes that need to be put away, as well as the collection of dirty dishes that I found around the house after I was "done" washing last night.

Maybe I need a wife.

Grad Skool Rulz

Wow. Look what I just found.

Question for Parents of 2nd Grade Boys (and Girls)*

The first week of January was fun because I spent every minute of it with Isaac. He didn't have school and I took off work so we could hang out. We really had a lot of fun. By Tuesday I was able to relax and get over the fact that I wasn't going to get any work done at ALL that week, and I embraced the moment. We did have some mutually frustrating moments but we also enjoyed each other's company.

Anyway, I noticed that Isaac's FJP (Fart Joke Percentage)** was increasing. These usually consist of some variation of "Oops, I farted!" (occasionally accompanied by sound effects). At first I wondered if he was having some kind of bowel trouble. He's been known to not poop until reminded.*** But by the second day, I figured out that he was joking.

Here's my question: Is the fart joke ubiquitous in 2nd grade? Do boys AND girls joke about it excessively? Is it an easy way to develop one's comedic ability? What are your thoughts?

I personally find fart jokes hilarious. Audible public slippage is enough to make me snort. The whoopee cushion is one of my favorite gags. But I don't walk around blowing on my arm and saying, "Awwww, that was a JUICY one!" or "Beans, beans, the musical fruit...." It certaily doesn't offend me (I think it's hilarious when he does it in public but I give him stern looks anyway), but it gets a tad old.

Lori in MN - what does your Isaac do? Who else has a 2nd grader?

*I referenced girls in the title because I hope that changing gender norms will make this question applicable to girls AND boys - I don't think that preoccupation with bodily functions is a purely male trait.

**FJP is the number of fart jokes as a proportion of all jokes (unintelligible knock-knocks, alternate nonsensical responses to "Why did the chicken cross the road?", and jokes involving other bodily functions).

***Will Isaac hate me for this post if he ever reads it?