Sunday, August 28, 2005

Dumb ribbon magnets make me mad.

One of the weirder things that happened in this country while I was gone was the invention of those magnets that people stick on their cars in lieu of bumper stickers. They usually are yellow or red/white/blue with "Support our troops" written in an ugly script font on them.

Now, I know that people have become very fervent since the whole 9-11/Iraq war deal, and I know that many people are feeling the need to express their views. Everyone who saw my old Volkswagen Fox knows that I'm a huge fan of the bumper sticker. But, geez, if you really believe in something, there are a hell of a lot of better ways to say it than a freaking magnet! They are not even permanent! (Not that I would want you to ruin the paint job on your Durango, but if you're gonna say it, then say it for life, dude! Make a freaking commitment!)

Anyway, what really makes me mad about this is that somebody probably paid $5 for a piece of crap that was made in China (those businessmen are laughing their asses off at you people!) And what have you accomplished? You've created an eyesore. Bumper stickers are supposed to make you unique and help people to contemplate something. For example, there is a great bumper sticker that says "Visualize whirled peas." That is a cool bumper sticker. But what the hell do I care that you "Support the troops"? Everybody "supports the troops". We do it whether we want to or not with our tax dollars, and of course we don't want to see our friends and countrymen killed in a war. So what exactly are you telling me to do?

A much better use of your $5 would be to buy some Oreos and ship them over to the troops. Or, call up that phone number on the Christian Compassion website and donate the five dollars to feed a hungry kid so the fundamentalists can't lure him in with food and convert him into a terrorist. Or, hey, send it to me. I'll give it to my friend who is in the national guard. He was in Iraq, and I'm sure he'd appreciate some support.

Anyways, with a little savvy googling, I found some other people who hate those ribbon magnets. You can even buy a magnet from them that says "I support the guy in China who makes these idiotic magnets." Now THAT'S worthy of my bumper.

1 comment:

LuvBurt said...

Ok had to do it, one last comment before you leave us, and as always said with love:
So about those "support our troops" magnets...

Although I am certain there are some knock offs out there actually produced by "the guy in china" had you gotten down off your high horse long enough, you would have been able to read right on those magnets that at least some of them are "MADE IN THE USA".

That being said, I too am a skeptic and do not necessarily believe every thing in print, as that "guy in china" could just as well have had "Made in the USA" printed on his cheesy magnet prior to shipping it to the good ol' USA. However I am pretty sure some where along the way an American did something to get that magnet to your local Kwik Trip or Wal-Mart; drove the boat, ran the dock, unloaded the boat, loaded the semi, drove the semi, repaired the semi, unloaded the semi, managed the Kwik Trip, and ran the cash register just to name a few. All done in the name of work so we as Americans can get a paycheck and not only that because we live here in the good ol' USA when we get that paycheck we have the privilege of being able to throw any amount of money we want on any overpriced stupid piece of crap and display it any where we want, including our cars, our lawns, our shirts, and even our asses if we so choose. ( I’m considering a “Wide Load” sign for my ass) And as Americans we are still allowed to stand tall and proud as we do so. So the way I see it this is all still a GOOD thing.

So if the “guy in china” makes a buck in the process good for him! A ton of other people, including Americans, did just the same along the way. I personally don’t have one, but if slapping a red white and blue ribbon on your bumper makes you feel good, I say go for it! That gal at the gas station needed something to do anyway and apparently so did we in taking the time to write some useless commentary on the production and displaying of a single 5 dollar bumper sticker. (And by the way I think they are really only like 2 or 3 bucks.)

And what are you griping about anyway according to what I’ve read that “Guy in China” used to dig out cow eyes to use for filler in hamburger, now he doesn’t have to anymore!