I get by.

Some people save their dedications for their dissertations. I figure if I wait that long, my dedication page will be longer than the actual dissertation. So let's break it up into chunks.

I hereby dedicate this semester to my wonderful friends. Without you, I am sure I would have taken a leave of absence from grad school, and who knows how long THAT would last. I need to be here, with all of you, doing exactly what I'm doing.

~Not in any particular order. Seriously.

GH - I can't even write one for you because I'm really sad that you graduated. (I mean yay! I'm happy for you!)

RS - for a complex, chat-heavy relationship - you've certainly helped me refine my arguments and maybe stop using such "broad brushstrokes". and the public shoulder was exactly what I needed.

CS - to think it all began with a white board protest. the cinnamon rolls. tarot and sage. I'm so glad.

MN - you were with me on that most important day. I was so grateful to have you there. I didn't tell you this but I might have chickened out if I had gone alone.

EM - you have no idea that I secretly take you to the grocery store because it keeps Isaac entertained and therefore more bearable for me. It's a total win-win.

MD - I can't believe you were able to make me laugh when I was feeling so bad. It saved me.

PM - there are certain things that can only be discussed with a sister.

AE - that cloud analogy is the best therapy I've ever had, my rabbi.

HA - is it weird that we're such good friends? I don't think so. we're gonna be visiting each other around the world from now on.

IB - you know you're my idol, mostly because you are comfortable with who you are. that makes you confident. i feel honored that you trust me with your girls and your friendship.

One reason that spring is my least preferred season.

Proof that my kitchen can be clean.

The cleanliness of my kitchen is positively correlated with intense work loads that require creative forms of procrastination. After cleaning my kitchen, I entered the song titles for all of the "unknown" tracks in my iTunes library.

I'm almost ready to come back. Is it too soon?

How long would be a respectable hiatus?

There are things I want to blog about, like this. And I will have pictures from Isaac's birthday this weekend.

We'll see.

The time has come...

...for me to take a blogging break. I might come back someday, maybe.

Quickie

I'M SO BUSY!!!

Here's all I can come up with for a post.

Yesterday I almost ate an entire jar of dill pickles for supper. I stopped when there were two left because I might want a pickle or two today and it would be sad if I didn't have any in the house.

Isaac has grown a lot in the past few months, and combined with his 2 lb. weight loss from being sick, he looks like an animate skeleton.

I'm one of the authors on a paper that got accepted to the American Sociological Association meeting for this year. (YAY!)

I am going to Vegas on Thursday and don't know how I'll get all my work done before then. AHHHHHH!

Reader Poll

How long past the expiration date is it ok to eat yogurt? It smells okay...but it expired on the 20th.

Also, let it be known that I kicked some serious to-do list ass today.

Things that happened recently:

• Holy crap, I got busy.
• Isaac was sick and I missed an entire week of school and work.
• I forgot how to skim articles over the break.
  
• I rearranged my bedroom instead of doing school work. It looks great though.
• I stopped drinking coffee and I'm working on quitting Diet Coke, too. (Chemicals, packaging, price, who needs it??)
• I'm almost ready for a new tattoo.
• Isaac and I saw the Gilded Bats live. I'll post pictures as soon as I have time. Isaac totally busted a move, I wish I had video.
• I love my new classes. I will be a methodology expert at the end of this semester.
• I'm going to Las Vegas next week for a conference! I can't wait!!
  

Looz Moshun (Bangla for Diarrhea)

Or "The Awesome Weekend that Wasn't"

OK, so it wasn't a complete wash. I enjoyed watching my dad (and my friends) act in the Montello Community Theater (now known as Standing Room Only Players) production of Lend Me A Tenor. But there was a lot of barfin' and poopin' and feverin' and now there's snottin' and coughin'. I'm hoping this is the only sickness we have to get for the semester. Seriously, yuk.

PLUS, I rear-ended somebody yesterday because of the icy roads and my anti-lock brakes.

PLUS, classes started today and I wasn't ready yet.

Whine whine whine.

Kitchen Angst

Does everybody know how much I hate cooking? Baking is ok - it's like a chemistry experiment. You just put the stuff together in the correct proportions and *shazam* it comes out nice. Cooking is another story. Not only do you have to assemble ingredients in the proper proportions, you have to adjust heat, add seasoning and then taste it throughout the process and change it if necessary. This is too much for me. Perhaps because of my negative attitude, I am a horrible cook.

I also hate grocery shopping because I can never think of anything to buy. My fridge is almost completely empty except for 3 limes, 4 grapefruits and a drawer full of oranges. (All of that citrus is great but I've had the flu for the past 24 hours and I'm not sure it's the best choice right now.) I have no cereal, no bread, no frozen waffles. Isaac is on the couch with a 103 fever and a bucket for barf, so I don't foresee a grocery store trip today. I'm kind of hoping that he doesn't have an appetite so I don't have to figure out what to feed him.

The last complaint I have about kitchens is the never-ending task of washing dishes. This week I let them go for 5 days, but yesterday I realized that it was probably a health risk, so I tackled the pile. It took an hour. There was some rotten broccoli in the sink that was making the house smell like fart. Now I'm staring at the mound of clean dishes that need to be put away, as well as the collection of dirty dishes that I found around the house after I was "done" washing last night.

Maybe I need a wife.

Grad Skool Rulz

Wow. Look what I just found.

Question for Parents of 2nd Grade Boys (and Girls)*

The first week of January was fun because I spent every minute of it with Isaac. He didn't have school and I took off work so we could hang out. We really had a lot of fun. By Tuesday I was able to relax and get over the fact that I wasn't going to get any work done at ALL that week, and I embraced the moment. We did have some mutually frustrating moments but we also enjoyed each other's company.

Anyway, I noticed that Isaac's FJP (Fart Joke Percentage)** was increasing. These usually consist of some variation of "Oops, I farted!" (occasionally accompanied by sound effects). At first I wondered if he was having some kind of bowel trouble. He's been known to not poop until reminded.*** But by the second day, I figured out that he was joking.

Here's my question: Is the fart joke ubiquitous in 2nd grade? Do boys AND girls joke about it excessively? Is it an easy way to develop one's comedic ability? What are your thoughts?

I personally find fart jokes hilarious. Audible public slippage is enough to make me snort. The whoopee cushion is one of my favorite gags. But I don't walk around blowing on my arm and saying, "Awwww, that was a JUICY one!" or "Beans, beans, the musical fruit...." It certaily doesn't offend me (I think it's hilarious when he does it in public but I give him stern looks anyway), but it gets a tad old.

Lori in MN - what does your Isaac do? Who else has a 2nd grader?

*I referenced girls in the title because I hope that changing gender norms will make this question applicable to girls AND boys - I don't think that preoccupation with bodily functions is a purely male trait.

**FJP is the number of fart jokes as a proportion of all jokes (unintelligible knock-knocks, alternate nonsensical responses to "Why did the chicken cross the road?", and jokes involving other bodily functions).

***Will Isaac hate me for this post if he ever reads it?

Isaac's first song

The Domestic Nemesis gave Isaac his first guitar lesson yesterday. He was practicing strumming his C chord tonight and we came up with this song:

Impeach Bush in C
(To the tune of Hot Cross Buns)

Impeach Bush! Impeach Bush!
He's a crook! He's a liar!
Impeach Bush!

Not bad, eh?

Weekend Highlights

Self Portrait Between the Borderline of Mexico and the United States

Date: 1932
(source)

After seeing many of her works in person, I decided that this is my favorite Frida Kahlo painting. It used to be one called "What I Saw In the Water", but that one wasn't in the exhibit.

I went to visit my brother and sister in law in MN this weekend. Here's the breakdown by the numbers.

Hours in the car with Isaac and my mom: 12
Times Isaac asked if we were there yet: 42,000
Times we listened to the Gilded Bats CD (Isaac's fave): 7.5
Excellent Thai meals: 1
Excellent Indian meals: 1
Calories consumed: 12,582
Hours spent waiting in line to see the Frida Kahlo exhibit at the Walker: 1.5
Items I wanted to buy from the Walker gift shop but didn't: 3
Times I played "Rock Band" with Rob: 12
Times I won: 0


Other highlights: Rob and Lisa's pets are hilarious. I think I've mentioned Riley (the yellow lab) before, but he is such a clown. He craves belly rubs and begs for them by laying down with his belly up if you pause in any location for more than 5 seconds. He also thinks he's a lap dog even though I bet he weighs more than 80 lbs. Their cats (Kitty and Jasper) are pretty oblivious to the humans usually, unless somebody goes to the bathroom. Jasper comes in the bathroom and Kitty stays outside and they make a game of sticking their paws under the door at each other. It's hilarious.

Also, Rob and Lisa's Xmas tree was HUGE. Seriously it was maybe 12 feet tall.

And we drove back in the worst fog I've ever seen in my life. Zero visibility. I heard this morning that there was a 100 car pile-up on the interstate here in Madison. Two people died. Yikes.

What Privileges Do I Have?

From the list below, I have bolded those which apply to me. (Most of these are thanks to my mom. Mom, you rock.)

(via anomie)

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
9. Were read children’s books by a parent.
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs.
16. Went to a private high school.
17. Went to summer camp.
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18.
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18.
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child.
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house.
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.
25. You had your own room as a child.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18.
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course.
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school.
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college.
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.
31. Went on a cruise with your family.
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family. (Dude, my dad split wood and we had a wood burning furnace.)


Copyright: Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka , "From What Privileges Do You Have?" Illinois State University

The Best Sledding Hill in the Universe.

I used to love sledding. We had this slope behind our house that was part of a cornfield and my brother and I would make sledding tracks when the snow was the right kind, and it was pretty fun. We also went to a big hill at a local golf course where we could rent these things called Ski-Bobs (kind of bikes on skis). That was fun too.

I have never taken Isaac sledding because he hates big slides. The last time I took him down a big slide, he almost passed out from fear, and Masud nearly killed me. But I figured the walk to the hill would be good for us, so we went today.

Sometimes I'm glad I have a wimpy kid because I hate watching athletic events. I doubt he'll go out for sports of any kind. This upcoming semester, we're enrolled in the following extra-curriculars: Italian class, guitar lessons, acting classes (with the Madison Children's Theater), and the chess club. Also, I don't have to worry about broken bones. Well, that's a lie, I always worry, but Isaac is way safer than the kids who went barreling down the icy snowboard jumps without thinking about how to stop.

Anyway, I'm newly medicated so my anxiety was in check, and it was so much fun. We both got some good runs in, and there was only one minor head injury and one near collision. If I start slurring my words, call 911.

And we both ran up that hill 50 times...great exercise!! The hill is right next to Isaac's school and it's called Bradley Park. It's the perfect sledding hill for scared people like me. We're going as much as we can until the snow melts!!



And now we're snuggled on the couch with hot cocoa and tea, and we're watching Return of the King. What a perfect day.