Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Katie + Drugs = Witty as Hell

(Yes, I realize that the above title is not appropriate for someone who is the substance abuse prevention coordinator, but get over it!)

So today I had to go to the doctor and show him my wrist wounds. When he walked into the room, he kindof glanced sideways at me and snickered. Odd, I thought. I had been a little worried ever since the surgery because I was not completely knocked out - just under sedation - and I knew I had been talking through the entire procedure, but I can't remember any of it for the life of me! So his sideways glance unnerved me a little!

Then he said, "Well, Katie, I gotta say, that was one of the most entertaining surgeries I've done in a long time!" Oh, man, I must have revealed some secrets or something.

I tentatively asked, "Really? I don't remember any of it! What did we talk about?"

His one word answer made my stomach drop out of my gut. "Politics."

Now, let me just paint a picture for you. This doctor is a manly man. His office walls are covered with dead animals and fish. He went to Africa on a hunting safari. He brought back a stuffed wild boar. Not that I'm one to assume things, but I think I am pretty safe in saying that he's a gun-toter. He's also probably a member of the NRA. And isn't it a pre-requisite of NRA membership that you be a registered Republican?

So I asked him to tell me about our conversation. He was really cracking up! He said that after he took out the tumor on my arm, he was explaining to me that it was a "fatty cyst", nothing to worry about. "In fact," he said, "these are very common. Most Democrats have them in their brains."

To which I replied, oh so smartly, "Well, that's okay. At least Democrats HAVE brains!"

I do remember laughing really hard on the table, and looking around at the doctor and the anesthesiologist as they cracked up. I'm glad they have a sense of humor!

I thank God above that he did not decide to "accidentally" cut my hand off!

1 comment:

Page Elizabeth said...

Okay, so I just looked it up on google, and I definately have a bunion on the right foot. Its GROSS. And, what's this I hear about surgery? Whatever. Bunions are for the elderly and arthritis-trodden.