My life is a Captain Underpants novel.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure to read Dav Pilkey's epic novels, you have no idea what you've been missing! Be warned, Pilkey's novels are a tad on the repuslive side (think first graders), so if you have a weak stomach, you might want to skip this post.

If my life were a Captain Underpants novel, I'd be in the chapter entitled "The Morphing Mutant Mucus Mountain". My nose has become a neverending fountain of green goo that drips down my face at the most unopportune moments. For example, I got on the bus this morning and had to share my seat with a rather large individual - which is fine - but since I'm also a rather large individual, we had little wiggle room. I felt a sneeze coming on but couldn't maneuver to my pocket for a kleenex soon enough, so I ended up soiling my new 99 cent "magic gloves" with boogers. It was really embarrassing.

Yeah, it was REALLY embarrassing. So in order to feel less embarrassed, I've posted it on my blog so that the entire world can know about it.

I was so embarrassed that I accidentaly got off the bus on the wrong end of State Street and had to walk about 50,000 miles to campus.

By the time I got to my office, I had that terrible hot-and-cold-at-the-same-time phenomenon happening...sweating in the pits but frostbitten on the face and hands. (Remember, I had to take my glove off on the bus, and I didn't want to look like a weirdo with only one glove on.)

It was an exciting start to an exciting day, that's for sure. And I have hours to go before I sleep.