Reader Poll

How long past the expiration date is it ok to eat yogurt? It smells okay...but it expired on the 20th.

Also, let it be known that I kicked some serious to-do list ass today.

Things that happened recently:

• Holy crap, I got busy.
• Isaac was sick and I missed an entire week of school and work.
• I forgot how to skim articles over the break.
  
• I rearranged my bedroom instead of doing school work. It looks great though.
• I stopped drinking coffee and I'm working on quitting Diet Coke, too. (Chemicals, packaging, price, who needs it??)
• I'm almost ready for a new tattoo.
• Isaac and I saw the Gilded Bats live. I'll post pictures as soon as I have time. Isaac totally busted a move, I wish I had video.
• I love my new classes. I will be a methodology expert at the end of this semester.
• I'm going to Las Vegas next week for a conference! I can't wait!!
  

Looz Moshun (Bangla for Diarrhea)

Or "The Awesome Weekend that Wasn't"

OK, so it wasn't a complete wash. I enjoyed watching my dad (and my friends) act in the Montello Community Theater (now known as Standing Room Only Players) production of Lend Me A Tenor. But there was a lot of barfin' and poopin' and feverin' and now there's snottin' and coughin'. I'm hoping this is the only sickness we have to get for the semester. Seriously, yuk.

PLUS, I rear-ended somebody yesterday because of the icy roads and my anti-lock brakes.

PLUS, classes started today and I wasn't ready yet.

Whine whine whine.

Kitchen Angst

Does everybody know how much I hate cooking? Baking is ok - it's like a chemistry experiment. You just put the stuff together in the correct proportions and *shazam* it comes out nice. Cooking is another story. Not only do you have to assemble ingredients in the proper proportions, you have to adjust heat, add seasoning and then taste it throughout the process and change it if necessary. This is too much for me. Perhaps because of my negative attitude, I am a horrible cook.

I also hate grocery shopping because I can never think of anything to buy. My fridge is almost completely empty except for 3 limes, 4 grapefruits and a drawer full of oranges. (All of that citrus is great but I've had the flu for the past 24 hours and I'm not sure it's the best choice right now.) I have no cereal, no bread, no frozen waffles. Isaac is on the couch with a 103 fever and a bucket for barf, so I don't foresee a grocery store trip today. I'm kind of hoping that he doesn't have an appetite so I don't have to figure out what to feed him.

The last complaint I have about kitchens is the never-ending task of washing dishes. This week I let them go for 5 days, but yesterday I realized that it was probably a health risk, so I tackled the pile. It took an hour. There was some rotten broccoli in the sink that was making the house smell like fart. Now I'm staring at the mound of clean dishes that need to be put away, as well as the collection of dirty dishes that I found around the house after I was "done" washing last night.

Maybe I need a wife.

Grad Skool Rulz

Wow. Look what I just found.

Question for Parents of 2nd Grade Boys (and Girls)*

The first week of January was fun because I spent every minute of it with Isaac. He didn't have school and I took off work so we could hang out. We really had a lot of fun. By Tuesday I was able to relax and get over the fact that I wasn't going to get any work done at ALL that week, and I embraced the moment. We did have some mutually frustrating moments but we also enjoyed each other's company.

Anyway, I noticed that Isaac's FJP (Fart Joke Percentage)** was increasing. These usually consist of some variation of "Oops, I farted!" (occasionally accompanied by sound effects). At first I wondered if he was having some kind of bowel trouble. He's been known to not poop until reminded.*** But by the second day, I figured out that he was joking.

Here's my question: Is the fart joke ubiquitous in 2nd grade? Do boys AND girls joke about it excessively? Is it an easy way to develop one's comedic ability? What are your thoughts?

I personally find fart jokes hilarious. Audible public slippage is enough to make me snort. The whoopee cushion is one of my favorite gags. But I don't walk around blowing on my arm and saying, "Awwww, that was a JUICY one!" or "Beans, beans, the musical fruit...." It certaily doesn't offend me (I think it's hilarious when he does it in public but I give him stern looks anyway), but it gets a tad old.

Lori in MN - what does your Isaac do? Who else has a 2nd grader?

*I referenced girls in the title because I hope that changing gender norms will make this question applicable to girls AND boys - I don't think that preoccupation with bodily functions is a purely male trait.

**FJP is the number of fart jokes as a proportion of all jokes (unintelligible knock-knocks, alternate nonsensical responses to "Why did the chicken cross the road?", and jokes involving other bodily functions).

***Will Isaac hate me for this post if he ever reads it?

Isaac's first song

The Domestic Nemesis gave Isaac his first guitar lesson yesterday. He was practicing strumming his C chord tonight and we came up with this song:

Impeach Bush in C
(To the tune of Hot Cross Buns)

Impeach Bush! Impeach Bush!
He's a crook! He's a liar!
Impeach Bush!

Not bad, eh?

Weekend Highlights

Self Portrait Between the Borderline of Mexico and the United States

Date: 1932
(source)

After seeing many of her works in person, I decided that this is my favorite Frida Kahlo painting. It used to be one called "What I Saw In the Water", but that one wasn't in the exhibit.

I went to visit my brother and sister in law in MN this weekend. Here's the breakdown by the numbers.

Hours in the car with Isaac and my mom: 12
Times Isaac asked if we were there yet: 42,000
Times we listened to the Gilded Bats CD (Isaac's fave): 7.5
Excellent Thai meals: 1
Excellent Indian meals: 1
Calories consumed: 12,582
Hours spent waiting in line to see the Frida Kahlo exhibit at the Walker: 1.5
Items I wanted to buy from the Walker gift shop but didn't: 3
Times I played "Rock Band" with Rob: 12
Times I won: 0


Other highlights: Rob and Lisa's pets are hilarious. I think I've mentioned Riley (the yellow lab) before, but he is such a clown. He craves belly rubs and begs for them by laying down with his belly up if you pause in any location for more than 5 seconds. He also thinks he's a lap dog even though I bet he weighs more than 80 lbs. Their cats (Kitty and Jasper) are pretty oblivious to the humans usually, unless somebody goes to the bathroom. Jasper comes in the bathroom and Kitty stays outside and they make a game of sticking their paws under the door at each other. It's hilarious.

Also, Rob and Lisa's Xmas tree was HUGE. Seriously it was maybe 12 feet tall.

And we drove back in the worst fog I've ever seen in my life. Zero visibility. I heard this morning that there was a 100 car pile-up on the interstate here in Madison. Two people died. Yikes.

What Privileges Do I Have?

From the list below, I have bolded those which apply to me. (Most of these are thanks to my mom. Mom, you rock.)

(via anomie)

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
9. Were read children’s books by a parent.
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs.
16. Went to a private high school.
17. Went to summer camp.
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18.
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18.
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child.
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house.
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.
25. You had your own room as a child.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18.
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course.
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school.
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college.
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.
31. Went on a cruise with your family.
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family. (Dude, my dad split wood and we had a wood burning furnace.)


Copyright: Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka , "From What Privileges Do You Have?" Illinois State University

The Best Sledding Hill in the Universe.

I used to love sledding. We had this slope behind our house that was part of a cornfield and my brother and I would make sledding tracks when the snow was the right kind, and it was pretty fun. We also went to a big hill at a local golf course where we could rent these things called Ski-Bobs (kind of bikes on skis). That was fun too.

I have never taken Isaac sledding because he hates big slides. The last time I took him down a big slide, he almost passed out from fear, and Masud nearly killed me. But I figured the walk to the hill would be good for us, so we went today.

Sometimes I'm glad I have a wimpy kid because I hate watching athletic events. I doubt he'll go out for sports of any kind. This upcoming semester, we're enrolled in the following extra-curriculars: Italian class, guitar lessons, acting classes (with the Madison Children's Theater), and the chess club. Also, I don't have to worry about broken bones. Well, that's a lie, I always worry, but Isaac is way safer than the kids who went barreling down the icy snowboard jumps without thinking about how to stop.

Anyway, I'm newly medicated so my anxiety was in check, and it was so much fun. We both got some good runs in, and there was only one minor head injury and one near collision. If I start slurring my words, call 911.

And we both ran up that hill 50 times...great exercise!! The hill is right next to Isaac's school and it's called Bradley Park. It's the perfect sledding hill for scared people like me. We're going as much as we can until the snow melts!!



And now we're snuggled on the couch with hot cocoa and tea, and we're watching Return of the King. What a perfect day.

Katie's 12 days of Xmas

On the 12th day of Xmas my true love gave to me...

12 deep fried poori
11 loads of laundry
10 Xmas cookies
9 journal articles
8 DVD rentals
7 days without email
6 late late bedtimes
5 pledges to go to the gym
4 international phone calls
3 tums antacids
2 seminar papers

and my very last ever stats exam!!!

Update

I have a small bruise on my right forearm from playing too much Guitar Hero. I must have a problem with my technique, because I don't think real rock stars bruise the inside of their forearms while strumming.

I found this hilarious!

IRB Global Observational Study of Behavior in Children

Post X-Mas Post

I have been sleeping 12-14 hours every night. During the semester, I averaged 5-6. Today I had to run for the bus and my legs felt like lead. My body is becoming one with the bed/couch/chair, whatever I happen to be near. I think this means I should probably start going to the gym.

My birthday party was super fun on Friday. The DomNem and I sang Brandy by Looking Glass. I think it might have sounded horrible, but it was fun anyway. Masud said that Gina sounded good. He didn't say anything about my performance.

We all went back to my apartment and played Wii games until midnight. I think there was some pizza and ice cream involved at some point, but the details are blurry. Thanks to everyone who came out and celebrated with me (and bought me drinks!)!

Masud has been here for over a week now, and he was a real help to me as I finished my paper last week. It's awesome having a co-parent around. And my sister and her boyfriend came to visit on Thursday. They brought three extra Wii remotes and we had an awesome time playing the Wii. I heart my family.

X-mas with the fam was really, really fun. We had laid back food (excellent choice) and opened presents around the table. I got some awesome stuff including Weeds seasons 1 and 2 on DVD and this rad book full of stickers that say provocative political things. Page, Andy and I had a DDR tournament. I think Andy won. Cheater.

Isaac got Guitar Hero III and Mario Galaxy from Santa. (I'm so conflicted about the whole Santa thing. Will Isaac hate me when he realizes the truth?) So far, in our house, I'm the best at guitar hero. That's not saying much.

Yesterday, which was the real Xmas day, Hob came over and we had a South Asian cooking day. My apartment reeks, but it was worth it. Hob made his signature shrimp dish, Masud made lamb biriyani and I made fried eggplant and salad. It was really good and we all ate too much and then went to bed.

Today I'm back at work. I still have one paper to write, but I'll start on it tomorrow.

Birthday musings...

I am 31 today. To commemorate, I will list some significant events from the past year:

1. My brother got married. It was a cool wedding.
2. My brother also knocked up his wife, like, right away.
3. I moved to Madison.
   
4. I got accepted to the Sociology PhD program at Madison.
5. I discovered some great TV shows, including Weeds, the BBC version of the Office, and Arrested Development. (yes, i consider these significant!)
   
6. I made some really awesome new friends and became even closer to old ones (you know who you are!)
7. I developed an affinity for grapefruit.
8. I finished taking stats classes FOREVER.
9. I read about 5,789,345,213 pages of scholarly information.
10. I discovered graphic novels.
11. I started riding my bike again.
    
12. I finally started to say semi-cogent stuff in class.
13. I started seeing a therapist so I could work on getting over my silly self esteem issues that prevent me from saying semi-cogent stuff in class.
14. I developed an aversion to watching the news and now get all my information from the Onion.

2008 is upon us...

and with it, the onslaught of political ads on TV. Oh, wait, that's already been happening for a year.

Maybe this video will help you decide whom to vote for.



(Yes, it's 11:30 p.m., and I'm supposed to be writing my paper. It's the Internet's fault.)

What I'm working on...

1. Classes are done, but I still have to work and we have to finish our annual report before xmas.
2. I have about 7 pages of notes for paper #1. I need to finish this by Thursday (although it's due on Saturday) because I have some big BD celebration plans and don't want to have a paper hanging over my head.
3. Masud is visiting for the next two weeks, so he's trying his hand at full-time parenting/housework while I spend my days in the library. Sometimes I have to help, of course.
   
4. I still need to get some xmas presents.
5. Tomorrow is the 2nd Annual White Elephant Party at DomNem's house. Last year was so fun (I remember laughing really hard) and I'm looking forward to it.
6. Whoa...I really need to wrap xmas presents. Our family xmas is going to be early this year, so I gotta get crackin'!
7. I have some kind of stomach problem - either from stress or a bug or those funky Russian dumplings that I ate last night on State St....it ain't pretty though.
   

Ick. I shouldn't have made a list. Obviously the paper is my number 1 concern right now, and I better quit procrastinating. No more Facebook! I mean it!

The really horrible morning that actually turned out okay in the end.

With this post, I will be revealing my ineptitude at balancing parenting/work/grad school, but a confession might be cathartic. This morning was so stressful, I just need to release it into cyberspace.

12:00 a.m. - (It actually began last night.) Isaac and I had been playing games all evening as it had been declared NO TV, NO HOMEWORK Night. I looked up and cursed my bad parenting skills.

Isaac has been having some bully trouble at school, and yesterday his teacher told me that she caught Isaac hitting the bully. Long story short, I'm glad Isaac stood up for himself, but I'm trying to be a pacifist and teach him the same, so I had to think of a way to reinforce the importance of respecting others. I decided to have a no-TV quiet night so he could think about what would have been a better solution. Instead of watching TV after supper/homework, we played games. Games are fun and Isaac is finally moving beyond the cry-and-throw-a-fit-when-I-lose phase, so it's actually really fun for me, too. Somehow we played games until midnight.

1:45 a.m. - I finally go to bed (Isaac was asleep by 12:15)
6:00 a.m. - Alarm and snooze (repeat 3 x).
6:45 a.m. - I'm UP, I'm UP. Oh crap, I'm up.
7:00 a.m. - Isaac, dude, get up. Isaac. Get up. Isaac? Isaaaaaaaaaaaaac, get up. OK five more minutes.
7:20 a.m. - ISAAC I FORGOT TO WAKE YOU UP COME HERE QUICK AND I'LL CARRY YOU TO THE COUCH!

The late bedtime set the stage for an terrific (terrifying) morning. The gravitational pull of our soft, warm bed was almost too much, but I managed to get myself up after hitting snooze three times. Isaac was even more deeply enveloped in the dreamworld, so I had to carry him (still asleep) to the couch and use my emergency technique of putting on a movie to wake him up. Usually TV is not allowed at all in the morning, but drastic times, etc. etc.

7:30 a.m. - I have to take a shower but should get Isaac moving, too.

Isaac woke up but was not in a good mood. I plopped down his Carnation Instant Breakfast (the only thing I can get him to eat in the morning - and at least it has all those "essential vitamins and minerals") and hopped in the shower. The water was cold because I was probably the last person in the entire complex to take a shower this morning. By the time I got out it was 7:45, Isaac has not eaten his breakfast, brushed his teeth or gotten dressed, and it's time to panic.

7:50 a.m. - Go outside (no time to blow dry) and start the car so that it will be warm enough to drive Isaac to school.

Isaac and I usually walk to school but I really needed to go to the bank, and I thought this morning would be a good, efficient time to do it, so I went outside (with wet hair that promptly froze) and started the car. The car has a problem - I have to hold down the gas pedal for a while until it heats up or else it will shut off. So I sat out in the car - FREEZING - until I felt that it was warm enough. I then rocked the car back and forth to try to dislodge it from the snow and ice that had accumulated over the past week. After another 10 minutes, I managed to get it out and parked it kind of in front of some other cars in the parking lot. I figured I'd just run in and get Isaac and we'd be out of there. The universe laughed at me.

8:24 a.m. - CRAP! I didn't pack Isaac's lunch yet! OK, I am now resigned to getting a tardy slip from the office.

Isaac's school starts at 8:35. He's not dressed, nor has he brushed his teeth. Where is his backpack? Why is he whining? Lunch...what to pack....the kid doesn't eat anything I send except for the yogurt. OK yogurt, carrots, peanut butter sandwich. Is that enough? Throw in a fruit roll up. Done. Wait, he needs a morning snack...find the goldfish crackers, find a container, where's the backpack. Isaac get dressed NOW! Yes, you can get dressed in front of the TV just do it QUICK!

8:36 a.m. - We're out the door. As we approach the car, I can tell that it's not running. Get in, turn the key and....click click click. Battery is dead. We're already late, battery is dead, I'm parked in the middle of the lot, totally blocking other people from getting out.

8:38 a.m. - Try the key again. Still not working.

8:39 a.m. - Call DomNem.

Can you come and let me use that fancy jumpbox that you were talking about the other day? Oh you're paper is due at 10 and you're still proofing it? Hob can bring it over before he goes to work. OK call me back.

8:45 a.m. - Call DomNem again.

Hob is already doing a favor for another friend this morning. OK I'll walk to school with Isaac, you finish your paper, email it to me and I'll proof it while you drive over.

8:57 a.m. - Get a tardy slip for Isaac.

On the way to school, Isaac made it known that this morning's events were less than ideal. He asked me to promise to never let this happen again. I suddenly felt my crabbiness overflow and didn't do a good job of being patient with my child. Once we got to the schoolyard, I had a flash of one of us dying before we got to see each other again, and I didn't want to have our last conversation be a crabby one. So I took five minutes to make sure we were okay.

9:15 a.m. - Back home, thaw frozen face skin, eat breakfast, wait for DomNem.

9:47 a.m. - DomNem arrives, I'm already almost done proofing her paper. We print it. We go out to charge the battery.

If I was making a car battery or a jumpbox, I'd try to put prominent markings indicating which were the positive or negative charging points. As it was, the jumpbox had one red and one black clamp, and the battery had one red and one black wire coming out. We thought maybe they were color coded, but nope, they weren't. Philosopher G to the rescue! He told us what to clip where, and by golly it worked!

10:00 a.m. - Follow DomNem to her house to drop off her car.

10:15 a.m. - Drop DomNem off on campus.

10:30 a.m. - Bank

I arrived at work at 1:00, 4 hours late. I guess I'll survive, but GOD I need a break!

Woo-HOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Please excuse the use of onomatopoeia, but it's totally warranted this time.

I have taken my last ever (that-is-if-I-did-well-enough-to-get-a-B-and-I-think-I-did) statistics (or sadistics, as I have heard it called) examination!

Of course, I'm sure you'll hear me complain about statistics in the future, because they are not gone from my life. Next semester I have a methods course that is rumored to be HARD. I also have to write a big paper next summer that will include my very own statistical analysis. Yikes, so scary.

But for tonight, I'm done, and now I can get going on my papers.