A Blogger Survey

I have been blogging since the summer of 2004, and up till now have not had any experiences with negative comments (other than spam). Imagine my surprise when I opened my email inbox today to find two anonymous comments. They were both in Bangla, and one of them referred to me as a "khanki" (whore). I can just see some 13-year-old rich kid sitting in Dhaka on his computer, laughing at his own wit and ability to string together nasty words.

Anyways, here's my question for all of you bloggers out there. How many of you have had any experiences with negative and unsolicited comments? What did you do about it? Did it seem to be a one-time thing or did they come back to harass you again and again?

Thanks for the input.

Katie "not a khanki" Zaman

Spring Break!

Isaac's school is out for the week, which means that I don't have access to my office. Technically I could go and find a janitor to let me in and around all of the barricades, but I decided to work from home. If you've never done it, working from home seems like a great idea. In reality, it's very hard, especially with a bored six-year-old hanging around. There is a limit to how much TV he can watch in one day.

The solution: I get up REALLY EARLY every morning and work as much as I can until he wakes up. Then I get another coupla hours in the afternoon. I only work part time, so this is enough. But getting up early sucks.

This Thursday I'm taking an Amtrak train for the first time! I was invited to a Fulbright conference in Chicago, which is scheduled for March 23-26. I considered driving down (then I could stop at IKEA on my way back!) but then I realized that parking would be a fiasco (and expensive), and I didn't want to be the only person there with a car, cuz I'd be stuck driving. A friend mentioned the train, and I found out that it only costs $88 round trip. So now instead of a tiring car ride, I'll have a relaxing train ride where I can finish my book and listen to some music.

Speaking of music, have you heard of James Blunt? He sings that song "You're Beautiful" in a freaky-high falsetto voice. I admit that I don't listen to the radio an awful lot, mostly because the best radio station we get here is 94.9 WOLX - oldies. I had heard snippets of the song, though and then he was on Oprah. He sang a song called "Goodbye My Lover" and I loved it. I just downloaded his entire album from iTunes. Isaac makes me play the free "Your Beautiful" video over and over again and he's learning the words. His commentary? "That man has a nice face and a nice voice." I agree.

"I'm sorry, lady. I'm morally opposed to birth control pills."

Down with the patriarchy!

Swiped from TheEmperfect.

New Birthday Tradition

I have thrown big birthday parties for Isaac for the past five years - most notably his third birthday where we had around 250 people in attendance! But this year there was nothing more than a cake. I did get him a present - The Tale of Despereaux by Kate Dicamillo. I thought that since he's been so enthusiastic about reading lately, he'd love another big "chapter book" that we could read together. His response was less than desirable - he said, "Birthday presents are supposed to be toys!"

So, in an effort to recoup the birthday spirit, I said that we are going to have something called a "birthday week". This has turned out to be a great thing! It spreads the parental stress across several days and makes the kid feel like a prince (or princess) all week! Every day he got an extra treat in his lunch, he got to have some friends over to visit after school on a few nights, he got special cake and magic show (thanks to grandma and grandpa) in his classroom, and to end it with a bang, he got a mini-shopping-spree at Toys R Us.

It worked out really well, and I'm going to do it again next year. I'm hoping that I can escape the nightmare of a room full of sugar-poisoned seven-year-olds next year by convincing him to let me spend the money it would take to throw a birthday party on another shopping spree!

Now He Is Six...

I'm feeling really guilty right now. Today is Isaac's birthday and I just yelled at him and made him go to bed.

It started off to be an excellent day. We got to school on time, I managed to haul in my own heavy bags, Isaac's backpack and lunch, and a nice chocolate cake (and paper plates, forks, sprinkles, etc.) for Isaac's class. I went to work and got stuff done. I got through another coalition meeting (one of the most important aspects of my job) without any major snaffoos. I went to Isaac's classroom to help pass out cake. Went back to my office and worked some more on a grant application that I need to submit tomorrow, and realized it needs a lot more work. After school Isaac and I went to visit my grandparents, then went to visit my parents, then rented some movies from the library (preparing for possible snow day tomorrow), then came home.

I somehow managed to make a delicious noodle/asparagus salad and then collapsed in the easy chair.

But was my day over? Nooooooo. I had promised Isaac to help him work on his K'nex Dinosaur Set that his grandma got him for his birthday. It's for ages 8 and up. Isaac is six. That means he jumped around and scattered the tiny pieces while I squinted and hunched over the bad directions. Occasionally he would stand in front of the meager light source in the room. There were frequent requests for status reports, "How much LONGER mom?"

I finally finished it. He looked at it and put it on the shelf. Yay.

Then I got up (slowly, because I was totally hunched over that stupid project for over an hour) and realized the dishes were not done, the food was still on the table, the garbage has not been taken to the curb, the laundry is crumpled in the basket. It was too much. I cracked.

I loudly and angrily said, "Isaac, I can't do anything else for you tonight - go to bed NOW!" And Isaac looked at me with his round baby face that won't be round or babyish for much longer and said, "I love you, mom. Thanks for putting my dinosaur together."

I hope he doesn't remember these random outbursts of anger, and instead recalls how I laboriously put that frickin' dinosaur together for him, even though it was the last thing on earth I wanted to do. It sucks that it's so much easier to remember bad things than good.

Parenting is really really hard.

At Last, A Weekend

Whew, this has been a great weekend! I left all of my work at the office and truly relaxed. Yesterday I cleaned the house and Masud cooked two huge pots of curry for the week. I cut up lots of fruit and planned the week's menu (lots of curry for Masud, lots of vegetarian Mexican food for me). It was very good. And I still have the entire Sunday left!

I did have one disturbing incident. Since last weekend, Isaac's new "knapsack" (as he likes to refer to it) has been missing. While the knapsack itself is very cool, it was the contents that were most important. His gameboy, all of his games, AND his precious Yu-Gi-Oh cards were all inside. These are the MOST IMPORTANT things in Isaac's toy armada. For me, losing something important drives me crazy until I either find it or figure out where it went. I literally tore the house apart looking for it, even in improbable places like the pantry and the office, and then as a last resort cleaned out the cars. Then I called my mom and asked her to look in her house. I called my dad to look at his business. I asked my sister if Isaac had left it in her car. No, no and no.

Last night, just as we were about to go to bed, I had an attack of OCD and decided to look one more time. I pulled everything out of Isaac's closet, went through his drawers, cleaned out his bookshelves, and repeated the process in our bedroom, the office, the pantry, the kitchen, and even the front porch. The entire process took at least an hour. Finally, sadly, I sat down on a chair and told Isaac that it was gone. As I pulled him close for a hug, I realized that the chair I was sitting on was not very comfortable - in fact it was very lumpy! I got up and picked up Masud's sweater (which apparently belongs draped over that chair because it's always there), and there was the rogue knapsack! Thank GOD!

Throughout this process, I came to the humiliating discovery that I am addicted to Isaac's Pokemon video game. It's one of those games where you have to find things, build up an inventory, train your Pokemon, compete in battles, and move through lots of different towns/caves/paths. We played it a LOT in Bangladesh, and I must say we've built up quite the inventory. I was really upset to think that all of that "work" was lost! Last night after we found the knapsack, Isaac and I played for an hour out of sheer relief!

And so begins Isaac's birthday week - he'll be six on Wednesday. Six years ago today I was starting to have contractions - the beginning of three days of labor. Labor sucks.

I'm going to go play Pokemon again.

My Blog Sucks Lately

I feel badly about how crappy my blog has become. In my defense, I am working really hard right now - I'm writing a grant renewal application and doing lots of other things at the same time. Everything has an urgent deadline. I come home from work and I'm so tired I can barely preheat the oven for Isaac's chicken tenders. I hope you all bear with me and don't desert me in this time of blogging mediocrity.

Here's a list of updates:

1) The Bangladeshi Rapid Action battalion (RAB) finally caught Bangla Bhai, the Osama of Bangladesh. This is a major political victory for the Government of Bangladesh. They have been very pressured by the international community to "crack down" on Islamic Fundamentalism and root out the terrorists. I found the circumstances of his arrest questionable (a bomb "went off" in the hut in which he was hiding - nobody is saying whether B.B. was trying to commit suicide or the bomb was thrown by RAB themselves), but I guess it's good to get rid of the bad guys. As long as he doesn't become a martyr and inspire some other godbag freak to start his own little club.

2) Isaac had his first cavity filled today. The dentist prescribed valium that I administered an hour before his appointment, but it didn't really sedate him. I was very surprised that he didn't jump out of the chair when she gave him a shot in the gums. He was more scared of the drill than anything, and bit the dentist several times. All is well now, except that he bit his lip while it was numb and kinda drew blood.

3) Last weekend I was out shoveling snow from our recent snowstorm, and I slipped like an old lady. Of course, I put out my left hand to catch myself - forgetting it was still a tad sore from my surgery. Ouch. I thought I had broken it at first, but after some ice application and a day of Ace-bandage-wearing, I'm relatively pain free. That'll teach me for trying to become physically active. Couch-potatodom is in my future.

4) My sister is performing in the MHS presentation of "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" this weekend and I'm really excited. This is her last high school musical performance and it's a little sad to think that next year she'll be in college. They grow up so fast!

5) I kinda-sorta got a raise. I've been working way over my "part-time" hourly requirements, so my boss decided to give me an extra ten hours per week of pay. I'm very happy.

Speaking of which, time for me to get to work.

Less sucky posts to come.

Please don't call social services!

Yesterday I was busy working at home and suddenly Isaac barged into the room and said, "MOM! I'm HUNGRY!"

I turned around and realized that it was 2:00 p.m. and he hadn't had lunch yet.

He said, "You are a terrible mother. You don't feed your child!"

As if the guilt wasn't already strong enough.

Then I realized that Masud was sitting in the living room watching Bengali Natak all day. I don't feel guilty any more. Now if only I can teach Isaac how to resist the patriarchy!

Bangladesh Daily Star: Sex Workers Place 11-Point Demand

Read the story from The Daily Star.

My readers who either know me or have read my blog archives are aware that I was in Bangladesh last year. While I was there, I had the pleasure of meeting the woman in the center of the above picture. She is one of the most incredible people I've ever met.

Sex workers in Bangladesh are despised. They struggle to make enough money to raise their children, while at the same time being denied basic human rights by society. Their children cannot go to school because no man claims them as his child - the law states that "illegitimate" children cannot attend school. (When, at a conference on sex work, a woman stood up to question a public official about this law, he responded, "Why don't you just put a name on the certificate?" She responded, "Who's name should I put? Yours?" He got up and left.)

Sometimes, a woman will bribe a man to say he is her husband. These men usually exploit the woman's disadvantage and take exorbitant sums. The women also must bribe police, and most times the police take their money by force, and even rape them in especially horrific ways.

There are some aid organizations working to help, offering training in things like candle-making, embroidery and other crafts. In reality, it's not possible to make a living off of selling candles, especially when one is used to making thousands of taka per month.

My friend, pictured above, has struggled literally since she was five years old to survive. She has been beaten and raped countless times, and her body bears the scars. She has five children and she raised them herself. She has terrible health problems, which are very expensive to treat, so she does not go to the doctor.

But even after all of this, she still stands up to fight. I'm proud to know her.

I heart Minnesota.

I'm sorry, all my friends who live in Minnesota (and there are lots of you), because I was in Edina on Tuesday and Wednesday and I didn't call you. I'm especially sorry to my two buddies in the cities (Wendy and Nawshin) because I was extra close to you! But I had a hard core training thing and didn't have time to hang out.

This post is dedicated to the lovely State of Minnesota. After visiting for the first time since we moved away in October, I remembered how much I miss it! I drove past Southdale Mall on my way to the training building, and I remembered all those fun trips with Rubeena and Nipa - "Hey, Banana Republic has a sale!" I'm very grateful that I've met many international friends, but it's a big bummer when they graduate and take a job in distant lands. They are not tied down to any particular place here in America - since their "home" is very far away, they barely think twice about moving across the country to take a good job. Wahhhh. I miss you guys!

Minnesota is beautiful, too. The drive over was gorgeous - although I'll admit that most of the drive took place in Wisconsin. But that Mississippi Valley area is breathtaking, even in the dreariness of winter.

I watched the news on Wednesday morning - KARE 11 - and saw Mankato on the weather map. I MISS MANKATO! I miss the weird scultpures by the library, and the purple and yellow crosswalks in honor of the Vikings, and the 100 MPH winds that routinely blow there, and even the early spring poop smell that wafts off the farmers' fields (okay, I don't miss that!)

I guess I better plan a visit.

Ode to Twisty

I love Twisty Faster. Her writing is educational, and at the same time, funny enough to make me giggle out loud almost daily.

Today she posted a great link, where - according to Twisty - "if one is a fart in human shape," they may wish to purchase fake testicles for dangling off the lower back end of their truck.

Yes. She said, "If one is a fart in human shape." We are in the presence of greatness.

Split-ting Head-ache.

I was a substitute teacher today...in the Junior High...in the Special Ed room. It was going to be an easy day. All I needed to do was follow students from room to room throughout the day, help them out if they needed, and possibly keep them in line when they got squirrelly. But the plan went awry, my friends, when it came to be known that 4 of the six regular teachers were at a conference, meaning that in most cases we were two subs with a room full of tricky, conniving and hormonally charged youth. God help me.

Finally, in 8th hour (the last hour of the day for those who don't know), I got to be in a room with a regular teacher instead of a sub. The same students, that had just four minutes ago tried to out-yell one another while we struggled to get them to do their science projects, were completely docile, sitting nicely in their desks, paying attention, and doing what they were told. It was as if I had stepped into the Twilight Zone.

I can still remember the moment when I realized that there was only one wonderful sound (the teacher's voice) in my ears, instead of a clamor of teenage shrieks and hollers. I actually felt my scalp relax.

It has always irked me (in a purely theoretical and perhaps elitist way) how we demand so much from our teachers and yet pay them so little. Today I came away with concrete experience, and I'm very far beyond "irked". I think it's absolutely criminal that these people don't get over 60k a year - STARTING - because this job is way harder than the 30k-a-year salary that most teachers get (lower for starting wages, esp. in rural areas like this.) I was paid $97 (gross) for my work today, and I am feeling very used. GAWD. This was worse than my stint in the elementary a few weeks back, when I subbed for the gym teacher.

Maybe with experience and training, this gets easier. Probably it does. But I still think we're screwing our teachers by underpaying them. It's not fair to them, or to our kids.

End rant.

How old does one have to be to remember this?

I remember this theme song, but I can't remember what the show was about...


And I LOVE this Sesame Street clip (it WAS Sesame Street, right?) - but the one I remember was a little different. This one has a Yellow Submarine and a Beatle head in it...does anyone know if this is the original or a remix?

Monday Comic Relief

Mondays Suck. Here's something that will make you laugh and feel better.

(Courtesy of Bitch PhD.)

Quote of the day.

My mom is known for mixing up common sayings. One of her most famous mix-ups is, "You can't make a dead horse drink."

Today we were talking about how somebody had been a tad dishonest with her, and she said, "Wow, he really played me for a loop!"

I love you, mom.

By the way, why aren't you lame-os doing my Johari Window?

And some of you have not placed your pin in the map that is located on my sidebar yet. C'mon, what do you think I have this blog for, my own entertainment? Jeez.

Snow Day

Man I've been busy this week. Thanks to Old Man Winter for dumping wet, heavy snow on us in the night, because we finally got a snow day! I'm not looking forward to shovelling, but it's better than spending time in my "office" (actually a room full of servers and other junk with my little desk pushed in a corner and there is no phone and I still have to use my personal computer because mine has not been ordered yet, and I can't even print, and have intermittent email access...are you sensing a theme here?). I've learned that having a part-time salaried job is very sucky, especially in the non-profit realm, because it means there is a shortage of resources anyway and I'm having to work until the job is done so I'm not staying within 20 hours a week. I've spent hours and hours begging, scrounging, and even stealing things I need to do my friggin' job. Sigh. End of rant.

This day off is so wonderful.

To kill time, I have created a "Johari Window", and I can't really explain what it is (cuz I'm not really sure), so please go to the link and follow the instructions.

The piggy bank is dead.

I just walked into the living room and saw this:




Explanation: Isaac's dollar got stuck in the pig's head. He's trying to get it out. Am I raising a serial killer?

Bits and Pieces

My dad is a Republican. I'm working on him, though. I really think he's an un-enlightened Democrat...all he needs is some gentle prodding from me and he'll figure it out.

So we were talking about politics this weekend, and usually our political discussions devolve into a volley of low blows and sarcastic exaggerations within minutes of having been started. Here is how the conversation ended...

Me: Republicans are just not as close to nirvana as Democrats are.
Dad: One thing is for sure, you are really getting on MY nirvana!


In other news, I had a nice day yesterday. I finally mopped the kitchen floor - something that I've been wanting to do for a few weeks now. You have to understand that this is a monumental task for me. It requires moving furniture, pulling up rugs, and mopping at least twice with two buckets of clean soapy water. This is not only due to the fact that I have an irrational germ phobia, but also because this floor has a coating of grease on it from years of not being mopped. I'm working down to the real linoleum. And the fact that I felt this was a blog-worthy topic should be a testament to how important mopping is to me, and also how severe my OCD is!

To wrap this post up, here are some funny Isaac-isms for your daily comic relief:

Instead of flushing the toilet, Isaac "reloads the toilet."

Yesterday Isaac pointed out the playground bully and "his assistants" when we saw them at school.

Thursday at school, Isaac hit one of his friends. His excuse? "My brain made me do it!"

Isaac is building an Egyptian sarcophagus with his grandma on the weekends. It's about 2 feet long and quite elaborate. He has been thinking about what to put inside...one day as he was leaving grandma's house, he looked up excitedly and said, "How about the cat? We could mummify the cat! It would fit just right!"

I love this age.

And now for something completely different...

Here is a list of things that gross me out.

1. Public restrooms, especially when people forget to flush. Wow, people, how can you forget to do that? Especially when there is a great turd lying in the bowl? I avoid public restrooms whenever possible. Isaac has inherited this habit, and refuses to poop anywhere but in our own home bathroom. He's a very normal child.

2. Eggs, and people who eat them. Don't get me wrong - I understand that eggs are an essential ingredient to delicacies like cake, cookies and other confections. What grosses me out is when people crack an egg and fry/scramble/poach it and then eat it just like that. The smell alone is enough to make me gag.

3. Meat is very gross. Especially meat that is still attached to a bone. It's a piece of dead animal people! Hamburger is ground up muscle, fat and connective tissue! Bleck!

4. Why do people use their tongues to moisten the adhesive on envelopes or stamps? Convenience? Chances are I will have to touch that with my finger while I am opening it. I don't want your slobber all over my finger! Use a sponge, a wet napkin, anything but your tongue.

5. Speaking of slobber - what is with those people who allow their dogs to lick their faces? Would you allow me to come up and lick your face in greeting? Gross! I had a friend whose dog used to eat cow pies and then my friend would allow this dog to lick her face. Oh, the horror.

Community Theater

I've posted previously about my dad and sister's involvement in the community theater. They performed this weekend. The play was "Moon Over Buffalo" - a PG-13 comedy that was full of swear words and physical comedy. If you would have told me ten years ago that MY DAD would say "Dammit" and "Shit" in a public setting, and walk around on a stage in his boxer shorts (the man does not even wear shorts in the summer - he's that much of a prude!), and KISS a woman who was NOT his WIFE...well I probably would have fainted. But he was really good, and I'm not just saying that because he's my dad! I admit that I am biased, but the audience agreed that he was great!

My grandpa is usually in bed by 4:00 p.m., but he managed to stay up until 10:00 that night! I happened to glance over at my grandparents when my dad was prancing around in his boxers, and I just wish I could have taken a picture. The look on my grandpa's face was hilarious - a mixture of laughter and amazement!

I couldn't take pictures during the performance of course, but I managed to get a few bad shots of the curtain call. My sister Page is so beautiful, and she was very good in this play. I'm jealous...both of her good looks/acting talent and the fun she must have had with our dad!


I really want to audition for the summer play but I feel very over-extended already. If only there were more hours in the day!

How the DMV saved my marriage.

Let's face it, we all work hard. And after a hard day's work, all you really want to do is go home, scarf down some carbs, watch American Idol and then pass out. Spending quality time with our spouses just isn't something that happens on a weekday.

That's where the DMV comes in. Today I picked Masud up from work and we drove to the Department of Motor Vehicles so that we could finally get our new WI drivers licenses. We could have done this in Portage (where Masud works), but we also needed to register our Honda, and they don't do titles in the Portage office.

That's okay, we got to have a nice lunch at Ella's Deli. (I had an avocado-cream cheese-alfalfa sprout sandwich...mmmm...and a hot fudge sundae on toasted pound cake....mmmm...)

Then we drove over to the DMV, fully expecting to get in, get out, and get back in time to pick up Isaac. WRONG. There were over 100 people in line ahead of us. Sigh.

This is the miracle of the DMV. With all of that waiting time on our hands, we were able to have some serious spousal quality time! We discussed finances, our future, Isaac's education, our summer vacation plans, and still had time left over to tell funny stories and make each other laugh! (Although I did have to call my mom to pick Isaac up from school because we were still in line at 2:15.) By the time we went to get our new DL pictures taken, we were laughing so hard that the picture taker guy had to get stern with us.

"I'm going to have to ask you to stop fooling around, there is a line, you know!"

Thanks to the DMV, we'll make it to our 9th anniversary! That's not saying much, I guess, since it's only 17 days away...

Ode to Tanya

Tanya is the best, and here are ten reasons why.

1) She is a vegetarian.
2) She is dedicating her life to international development and activism.
3) She is very good at explaining complex concepts using excellent examples that are very relevant. (She'd make a great teacher!)
4) She has a mean chandrabindu. (Say it dude! "Chand-e Panch Kanthal Khabo" I will eat five jackfruits on the roof!)
5) She has the Bengali gift for hospitality. Example - when we were in India, we organized an impromptu party in our hotel lounge. Not only did she convince the entire wait staff to keep the lounge open for HOURS past closing time, she also bought like 15 huge bottles of beer to get things rolling. AND she somehow got several people to sing, and an elderly man to shake his booty. It was one of the most fun parties I've ever attended!
6) She is SO GOOD at impersonating people. The accuracy makes it hilarious without being mean!
7) She is obsessed with the Lord of the Rings, and she's not ashamed to say it!
8) I think I caught feminism from her. At the very least, being around her fanned the flames of my patriarchy-blaming.
9) She is extremely humble about her radness, which makes it all the more rad.
10) The girl can SING! AND play the guitar.

And, most importantly (I couldn't keep it at ten!)...

11) She is a very sincere friend - one that I am very lucky to have in my life!

*Sniffle

Here's to you, girl. Now stop procrastinating and get some work done!

Everybody! Place your pin!

I just added a nifty little "guest map" on the sidebar. Take a minute to stick your pin in it!

Can this be true?

Is this real? Because, if it is true, why haven't I heard this on the news? And if it isn't true, it's a very cruel rumor.

Katie + Drugs = Witty as Hell

(Yes, I realize that the above title is not appropriate for someone who is the substance abuse prevention coordinator, but get over it!)

So today I had to go to the doctor and show him my wrist wounds. When he walked into the room, he kindof glanced sideways at me and snickered. Odd, I thought. I had been a little worried ever since the surgery because I was not completely knocked out - just under sedation - and I knew I had been talking through the entire procedure, but I can't remember any of it for the life of me! So his sideways glance unnerved me a little!

Then he said, "Well, Katie, I gotta say, that was one of the most entertaining surgeries I've done in a long time!" Oh, man, I must have revealed some secrets or something.

I tentatively asked, "Really? I don't remember any of it! What did we talk about?"

His one word answer made my stomach drop out of my gut. "Politics."

Now, let me just paint a picture for you. This doctor is a manly man. His office walls are covered with dead animals and fish. He went to Africa on a hunting safari. He brought back a stuffed wild boar. Not that I'm one to assume things, but I think I am pretty safe in saying that he's a gun-toter. He's also probably a member of the NRA. And isn't it a pre-requisite of NRA membership that you be a registered Republican?

So I asked him to tell me about our conversation. He was really cracking up! He said that after he took out the tumor on my arm, he was explaining to me that it was a "fatty cyst", nothing to worry about. "In fact," he said, "these are very common. Most Democrats have them in their brains."

To which I replied, oh so smartly, "Well, that's okay. At least Democrats HAVE brains!"

I do remember laughing really hard on the table, and looking around at the doctor and the anesthesiologist as they cracked up. I'm glad they have a sense of humor!

I thank God above that he did not decide to "accidentally" cut my hand off!

My sister...

...is demented.

Click here for proof.

the power of pain

since i'm one-handed, there will be no capitalization for a while. my surgery went well - i was actually awake the whole time, but i dont remember much. the worst part was the iv! it's a little sore now, but definitely worth the attention i'm getting from my fam.

in lieu of a post, here are some digital doodles...

Thank God for Thursday.

I'm likin' the comment action, people! I should have invasive medical procedures done more often!

This was a big week, work-wise. I had a long and detailed meeting with my supervisor (which went well), managed to hire someone who will be working under me (how do you say that without sounding like a power trippin' elitist?), personally called the candidates that were not chosen for the job and told them "best of luck" (it was hard), and today I headed up my first big meeting. All in all I think I did pretty good! I really like this job, now that I'm getting the hang of things.

Tomorrow I have to write a mini report (due Friday) for a grant that I just found out about on Monday. That's a little hairy but I've got help so it should be okay.

Tonight Isaac and I made cupcakes in celebration of my success at work. Any excuse for cupcakes is fine with me. He is learning stuff like how to measure 1 1/2 cups of water, how to crack eggs without getting the shell in, and why we have to preheat the oven before we put the cake in. He's also learning that true joy is a warm cupcake with lots of frosting melting down the side. I hope he got his father's metabolism, cuz man I'm setting him up for obesity.

I may need to post photoblogs for the next week or so, because I'm not supposed to type for a week. Like that will happen! Maybe I can get creative.

Thanks to everyone for all of your good vibes! I'll be fine, I'm sure. I've got a nice full bottle of narcotics.

Katie, Katie, Deformed Lady

If you know my husband at all, you probably know that he is very blunt. He will call a spade a spade. He will also call a fat spade a fat spade. He has no concern for certain cultural expectations, especially in the US, that make comments on another person's body shape, size or other attributes taboo. For the first four years of our marriage, I would get really offended when he would comment on the largeness of my belly roll. I tried very hard to explain to him that it "hurt my feelings" (a concept that does not translate well) when he said that. In his point of view, he was telling the truth, so why should he sugar coat it? In my opinion, why does it need to be brought up at all?

I finally got some enlightenment on this issue while in Bangladesh. My nieces were commenting on my "fatty" nature, and I said I felt sad when they called me fatty. They asked why it made me sad. I said, "Well, wouldn't you feel sad if someone said you were ugly?" and they said, "Yes, but calling you fat has nothing to do with how pretty or ugly you are." We then had a conversation about how a person is always pretty or ugly no matter how skinny or fat they get. They even said that fat people are more attractive, nice and soft and round. Ahhh, this is a concept I could latch on to!

Anyways, back to the original point of my post...
Masud has always called me "deformed". He has several points.

1) When I was young, I had a tumor the size of a golf ball on my index finger. It was gross. I had it removed in a painful surgery involving replacing missing bone in my finger with bone marrow from my pelvis when I was eleven. Yowch.
2) In the pictures of me as a young girl, the first thing a viewer will notice is my HUGE front teeth, protruding from my face like a lighthouse beacon. Thanks Gramma for paying for my braces.
3) Speaking of teeth, I have these hereditary white calcium deposits on them, which makes it look like my teeth are really yellow in comparison. The only way to get rid of them is to get expensive veneers, so I choose to say that they give my smile "personality".
4) My fingernails and toenails are tiny, oddly shaped, and paper thin. They never grow past my fingertips without tearing in an excruciating accidental brush with anything harder than a marshmallow.
5) My ears stick out. This is combined with the unfortunate physical reaction I have to nervousness, tiredness, and alcohol - they turn purple.
6) I have this "swirl" of hair at the base of my neck, so that when my hair is cut short, my hairline looks like a mullet gone awry.
7) And speaking of hair, I have more body hair than Masud does. Ahem.
8) I have these gross lumps all over my body. My mom and brother have them, too. Some of them are just "fatty cysts", but I have some special ones called "ganglion" cysts on my wrist (see picture). They have roots, and one of them is rooted in my wrist joint, causing considerable pain. The other one is wound around an artery, causing occasional numbness.

Soooo, this Friday I am going to have them whacked off in an outpatient procedure. I'll be sleeping as much as possible, and waiting very, very long before I get the bandages removed, so there will be no dish washing for me. Yay, ganglion cysts!

I guess a little deformity pays off now and then. (Feminist side note: It's really shitty that in order to get a vaycay from doing dishes I have to undergo surgery.)

Where have I been?

Yikes, it's almost been a week since I posted. I guess I'm finally settling in to my new schedule. I generally like working, gives me something to think about besides myself, but I really miss my extra time. I've got to figure out how to get some of that back. I have not read Amy Tan for a week. A week! The protagonists are stranded at some hotel in Burma, about to be attacked by terrible dysentery, and I left them hanging there.

One of Masud's old buddies came to visit this weekend. He's a smarty - did his MS and PhD at Cornell in something called Biometrics (think hard hard math) and then got a Royal Family Research Fellowship to research at Oxford. He came from the UK to attend a conference in South Dakota, and then flew over to WI to spend the weekend with us. He is one smart dude, but he was really good with Isaac - they got out Isaac's microscope and looked at gross stuff on slides. He showed Isaac how to focus and stuff. Neato.

Nothing much else is new. And I've got to get some work done. So that's all you get for now.

Am I a pedophile?

Daniel Radcliffe is hot. Lookin' forward to the next Harry Potter movie.

Isaac Sez:

Last night, when we were falling asleep - Isaac sandwiched between us - I asked Isaac if he thought any of his buddies slept with their mom and dad. He said, "Probalby not."

"Why do you like to sleep with us?"

"Because, I'm loadin' up!"

"What are you loading up on?"

"Energy and love, for my day tomorrow."

"How do you do that?"

He wriggles in and give me a hug, "Just like that."

The truth is, I feel the same way! And that's why he still sleeps with us.

I hope God smites Pat Robertson.

Pat Robertson embodies all that I hate about organized religion.

Look what he said this time.

Torrid

Today I was in my new favorite store, Torrid, which is one of the few fatty stores I've been in that has tolerable fashions. As I was checking out, I mentioned to the clerk that I love the definition of the word torrid. She said, "It means hot." And I said, "No, I believe it means intense emotion." She replied, "I looked it up in the Webster's dictionary. It means HOT." Well, Google and I beg to differ.

Web definitions for torrid
ardent: characterized by intense emotion; "ardent love"; "an ardent lover"; "a burning enthusiasm"; "a fervent desire to change society"; "a fervent admirer"; "fiery oratory"; "an impassioned appeal"; "a torrid love affair"

I am vindicated through this cyber-version of "I told you so."

So there.

Gratuitous Picture of Me in Bangladesh.

Really Deep Thoughts

1. It's Korbani Eid time again - this is the holiday that cows and goats dread - a virtual bloodbath of sacrifices. Last January I spent Korbani Eid in the village. I can't believe it's only been a year!! But the memories live on. Who could forget that dude walking around with four cow legs casually flung over his shoulder? Or the basket of cow skin? Yes, a basket of skin.

2. I'm listening to Barbara Ehrenreich's book "Nickel and Dimed" on CD. Ever since I was a waitress, I've felt that everyone that eats in restaurants should be required to wait tables for one week. Now I have changed my mind, everyone should just be required to read this book. She talks about what it's like to try to live on minimum wage, and the indignities that people who work these jobs must tolerate. Next time you eat out, please give your server a nice big tip. They deserve it even if they forgot your second Diet Coke.

3. This week I had a grand total of four doctor's visits. Advice: Don't let your health problems pile up - it's easier to take care of them as they come along.

4. The snow has completely melted. It's January. What the hell?

5. I found a cool online comic.

Things that make you go...Oh My God!

Today while I was playing a game of "match the numbers to the dots" in Isaac's classroom, two of his classmates were talking about what they want to be when they grow up. One boy proudly told me, "I wanna be in the Army like my Dad so I can kill people!"

I said, "Being in the Army is a great goal, but you don't really want to kill people, do you?"

"Of course I do!" Then he made machine gun noises and pretended to shoot his classmates.

His buddy said, "I already have three guns! I practice shooting at the targets with my dad!" (May I remind you that these are 5-year-old kindergarteners.)

I realize that I have chosen to move back to Marquette County, the self-proclaimed Hunters' Paradise, where deer cause an average of one vehicle accident per day and must be exterminated. While I have not quite made up my mind exactly how hunting fits in with the entire gun control scenario, I am definitely sure that when a five-year-old is talking about killing people, and another has already had the opportunity to shoot a gun, there is something amiss. I had a heated discussion with one of my requisite Republican friends over lunch today about guns and the military and "how we used guns to get rid of Hitler". Maybe guns have their place! But that place is not in the hands of a five-year-old.

I had been freaking out about Isaac's fondness for the toy squirt gun (which is not actually a "gun" because it's shaped like a dolphin, which is why it didn't go in the garbage immediately) that came with his Subway sandwich. He carries that thing around in his pocket, whips it out and uses both hands to aim expertly at the monsters and makes gun-blast noises as he jerks his hands as if he's firing bullets. The problem with forbidding gun-toys is that when anything remotely resembling a gun turns up, it is absolutely irresistible. Suddenly, Legos are expertly fashioned into an "L" shape and held like a pistol. And toy guns are everywhere - he got a "foam disc shooter" in the Christmas exchange at school! What kind of mean mom would take that away from their overjoyed kid?

Now that I see the extent to which guns and killing with guns are discussed in his classroom, I'm rather proud that I've been able to explain to him that guns are dangerous, they were designed as a tool to kill living things - both animals and people - and they are not to be played with. He understands this, and when he plays, he knows he can only shoot the imaginary monsters. He's not even allowed to pretend that he's shooting people. We've talked about the fact that even "bad guys" have mommies and daddies who would be sad if they died, and that's why we have jails to lock them up instead of killing them.

But Jeez, it makes me want to move to a desert island and poke my head in the sand.

My Blog Mission and Reader Inventory

I realize that by nature, blogging is an exhibitionist pastime. Ever since I came back from Bangladesh in June, the purpose of my own blog has changed significantly. It's gone from a means of information and updates for my family and friends to a chronicle of my daily life in boring, small town America. I've often struggled with the idea of anonymity. Most of the great blogs that I read are veiled in secrecy. They refer to their loved ones with clever psuedonyms and do not reveal their own last names or places of work. This ads a sense of mystique to their writing, and makes me want to read more. Sometimes I feel like starting over with a completely new identity. I would then be free to reveal my very personal stories, which would probably make for a better read. I've got scandals, people. Traumas. Agonies. And ecstacies. Wouldn't you love to hear? Alas, they are relegated to my personal journal.

I guess the reason I choose to continue with this blog is because I know that I am absolutely terrible at keeping in touch with people. Given the way that our family tends to move around (God help me), it is an unfortunate character flaw. This blog is a way for my dear friends to know that I'm still alive, I have a life and a brain, and I am conciously updating them on my activities because I do want to keep a relationship going.

I know of my readers, I think, although from the looks of my hi-fi hit counter, I must have some regular readers who are hiding from me. I understand, as a blog lurker myself, that it feels weird to comment on the personal blog of a person that you do not know in real life, but it's also very, very creepy to eavesdrop and not comment once in a while. I have started commenting on the blogs I read secretly, so I request that if you are a regular reader, drop me a little "hello" once in a while!

So all of you creepy lurkers, post a comment! Tell me about yourself. And I promise not to call you creepy ever again!

Self-Psychoanalysis {Via Rock 'n' Roll}

Thanks to Page, who's rad musical taste I mentioned in a previous post, I have discovered the great band System of a Down.

Today, as I was reading about the band on their website, I found a section in which the band members underwent psychological evaluations. (The results for each member are published under the "members" section of the website.) One sentence regarding singer Serj Tankian in particular stood out...

Subject freely drops political jargon ("cooperate Darwinism," "Chomsky-esque") and expresses clear skepticism regarding modes and means of information dissemination, "We see the same thing on every channel," he says. "It's all very devised. It's very filtered.? Well-versed on pressing issues, he's neither apathist nor activist but instead one fascinated by the nature and conclusions of international transactions, policies and ideologies. Awareness and keen knowledge of national or global cause and effect traditionally signifies: a.) sub-conscious desire to avoid examination of the self b.) phobias regarding species extinction c.) revolutionary aspirations (imagined or real) and/or d.) imminent career as college professor.

Now I will be forced to discern to which of these categories I belong. I do have phobic tendencies...hmmm...species extinction?

What the hell does "meme" mean anyways?

According to Google:

As defined by Richard Dawkins in The Selfish Gene (1976): "a unit of cultural transmission, or a unit of imitation." "Examples of memes are tunes, ideas, catch-phrases, clothes fashions, ways of making pots or of building arches. Just as genes propagate themselves in the gene pool by leaping from body to body via sperms or eggs, so memes propagate themselves in the meme pool by leaping from brain to brain via a process which, in the broad sense, can be called imitation.

So in the great Blogosphere, a meme is a format of writing something that is imitated, I guess. Here are a few...

Here's a fun one via Sharon:

Sum up 2005 in 24 words:

1. Separation
2. Reunion
3. Transition
4. Again
5. Broke
6. Heartache
7. Missing
8. Found
9. Together
10. Decisions
11. Goals
12. Jobs
13. School
14. House
15. New
16. Old
17. Pain
18. Health
19. Intellect
20. Prosperity?
21. Contentment
22. Where
23. Am
24. I?


Next I don't know if this qualifies as a meme, exactly, but it was interesting. (Also from Sharon.)

This site will allow you to upload a picture of yourself, and then it searches a database for celebrities that look like you.

Here are my results:



In case you couldn't tell, that mug on the left is me. According to this site (and what a great ego-booster it is!), I look most like Scarlett Johansson(???) and Judy Garland (awww!). But I also look like Gustav Stressemann (It must be my mustache). I think my huge teeth resemble Katherine Hepburn's (only when she's old). And, c'mon, who wouldn't wanna look like Frodo?

The last picture on the right is Sania Mizra, tennis player from Hyderabad, the first Indian woman to win a "grand slam" (I don't know what that means.) Personally, I think I look most like her - sans athletic prowess, of course.


And, last but not least, this meme from Bitch PhD.

The "Seven" Meme

A. Seven things to do before I die
1. Travel around India for three months.
2. Stop binging on twizzlers.
3. Learn Spanish.
4. Visit New York. (That place scares me. I must conquer the fear.)
5. Finish my PhD.
6. Have a savings account - with money in it.
7. Meditate daily.

B. Seven things I cannot do
1. Watch "Anne of Green Gables" without crying.
2. Live without seeing my family for too long.
3. Be worry-free.
4. Clean up vomit.
5. Keep plants alive.
6. Read one book at a time.
7. Grow my hair long.

C. Seven things that attract me to ...
1. My husband: his generosity.
2. My kid: his scatalogical humor.
3. My sister: her taste in music.
4. My friend Debi: the "different drummer" to whose beat she marches.
5. TKP: her spot-on impersonations.
6. Twizzlers: their chewey goodness.
7. People in general: humor, insightfulness, and good conversations.

D. Seven things I say most often
1. Shite
2. C'mon!
3. Whassup?
4. Rad
5. Somebody please shoot me in the head.
6. Why, God?
7. Isaac, you're the bestest.


E. Seven books (or series or genres or topics) that I love
1. The Temple of My Familiar (Alice Walker)
2. Kingsolver
3. Amy Tan
4. Harry Potter (I know, lame. But hey, I have a kid. That's my excuse.)
5. Anne Rice
6. Nerdy non-fiction stuff.
7. This one's too hard. There are too many. I didn't even think about Isaac's kid's books!

F. Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had time)
1. Anne of Green Gables
2. Moulin Rouge
3. The Bourne movies
4. Hindi movies: Kisna, Devdas, Swades
5. Barbra Streisand - Funny Girl
6. Pokemon and YuGiOh (This is not out of choice)
7. Sex and the City and Friends

G. Seven people Two people I want to join in, too.

TKP - you're it! Do this quick before you get stuck in Worcester again.

Wendy - You, too dude!

It wasn't meant to be.

Since I worked a grueling 10 hours on Wednesday, I had yesterday off. With a whole day of household-work-procrastination on my hands, I thought I'd try something fancy with my blog, so I found some great templates and spent quite a chuck o' time trying to figure out how to use them. Sadly, I realized that my html/snazzy web knowledge has become obsolete. I thought about moving the whole blog over to my 10 MB of webspace that my ISP has so generously given for "free", but since I'm fed up with the company (the terrible, terrible corporation that rhymes with "horizon"), I have the feeling I'll be switching to whatever provider finally decides that this area deserves a CHOICE of phone/internet companies. Rural living, ain't it grand?

Check out some of these cool blogs that do not rely on the standard blogger templates...
Sharon
Bitch PhD
Twisty Faster

When I grow up, I wanna be cool like them.

Random Stuff

Here's my current reading list. I rotate according to mood. Although Amy Tan has the ability to make me give up sleep to finish her books, and I think she'll take precedence for a while.







Today's Catastrophe:
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was my gramma who lives three doors down from us. She said my grandpa fell and can't get up. Masud and I ran down the slippery sidewalk - he was wearing a lungi (google it) and I was sans-spectacles/spike-haired since I was too freaked out to care. Grandpa was outside - where I think he had been struggling for over half an hour, kneeling in a snowbank, and my 90 lb. gramma was trying to help him up. He was freezing and hurt. Masud and I helped him up, took him inside, and then realized that we left Isaac alone at home.

Grandpa fell because their dog, Chips, wrapped his leash around grandpa's legs and pulled hard. Plus, it was slippery outside. This is the second fall that Chips has caused - last week it was my gramma who fell in the street, and crawled over to where the garbage cans were set on the curb and pulled herself up. Her pride was hurt more than anything else.

So far, nobody's broken anything, but this has gotta stop. I told Masud that I think we need to adopt Chips, but Masud is adamantly opposed. Sigh. My gramma hates that frickin' dog, but grandpa is very attached to him. Perhaps we could take the dog at night...I don't know. The thought of poop-picking is not intriguing to me.


Isaac Quote:

I asked Isaac why he did not enjoy the company of a four-year-old girl who came to visit today. He said, "Her silliness gave me a headache."


Medical Mystery Solved:

My sister-in-law Maya (the doctor that I worked with in Bangladesh) has been really sick for the past month or so. She has been in the hospital with terrible abdominal pain, and was finally diagnosed with pancreatitis. Her pancreas was actually digesting itself. Ouch.

A few days back, she and Masud-bhai (her hubby) flew to Singapore for some expert medical attention. They inserted a drainage tube in her pancreas that would help the digestive juices to drain. After the surgery, Maya started having extreme pain. They decided to go back in and remove the tube. Everyone was disappointed because a cause could not be determined.

While the surgeons were removing the tube, they saw something moving. They looked closer and discovered...a worm. And then they found another worm. She had worms in her pancreas.

Yeah.

And with that happy thought, I leave you.

Finally Home For Christmas!

It's been two years since I spent Christmas at home, so I really really enjoyed it this year. I had a few white russians, too, which really made it fun. We played some games, ate lots of good food, and opened presents on Christmas Eve, and then today we had lunch at my Gramma's house. That was great. She got some fried chicken and oven fries from Kwik Trip. I made green bean casserole, and Rob made meatballs. I brought some good guacamole and salsa, too, cuz meat is gross.

This afternoon, we're going to visit my gramma who is in a nursing home. Then I'm gonna hunker down with one of the three books I got for gifts...the Beatles biography, Amy Tan's new book, and Pathologies of Power by Paul Farmer. Great reading material for the next month at least.

Isaac is suffering from toy overdose.

But he just said, "I can't wait until next Christmas."

!!!

Enjoy the pics and merry Christmas everyone.

more los fotos

los fotos

Another Nari Jibon Picture

It was Kathy's 50th birthday yesterday so she was treated to a glitzy, cake filled celebration, Bangladeshi style.



Awwww, I miss those folks!

X-mas

There has been lots of hullabaloo lately about the separation of Church and State and using the word "Christmas" in public settings. Isaac's teachers have wished me "Happy Holidays", and I know they have to be careful not to let the X-word slip. As a Muslim, I understand the argument, but I have surprised myself by being on the side of the right-wingers on this one. Christmas is an important part of most Americans' traditions and I don't think it should be censored. But I suppose I am still a little different from the likes of Pat Robertson...I think we should follow Bangladesh's model and just celebrate ALL the holidays.

In Bangladesh, most people are Muslim, so the Islamic holidays are most widely celebrated. Islam is a very holiday-oriented faith...lots o' holidays...so there are lots of Islam-related vaycays. (The month of Ramadan is not an official holiday, but people who do work walk around in semi-comas all day until it's time to eat, so it might as well be a holiday. The end of Ramadan, marked by Eid-al-Fitr, is celebrated for up to a week.) Being the inclusive secular organization that it is [please note that I'm typing with an facetious expression on my face], the Bangladeshi government also observes the holidays of the FOUR major religions in Bangladesh.

This is kind of funny, seeing as there are really only two major religions. Most Bangladeshis are Muslim (83%), followed by Hindu (16%), and then Christians and Buddhists fall into the 1% that's left over. But just because they only make up 1% doesn't mean they should be left out. I mean, 1% of 140 million people is actually a lot of people. Important Hindu holidays are observed, of course, and I remember getting a few days off for some kind of Buddhist deal. I think I saw two Buddhists the entire time I was in Bangladesh. They must have felt very special on their holiday. The entire country shut down, just for them!

Christmas is a holiday if it falls on a workday. The Awami League even moved a strike last year because it fell on Christmas day and they didn't want to offend the <1% of people who are Christians by messing up their big day.

I'm an advocate of hedonism, so I say celebrate them all! It would be very depressing for me to not get give presents at Christmas, because it's a big cultural deal for me. I don't give a crap about the "true meaning", whatever that is, but I like the idea that we all get together, eat a lot, and give each other thoughtful gifts! Wait...is that the "true meaning"? Then I guess I do give a crap.

Also, I enjoy the gluttony that is Eid (not so much the bloodbath that is korbani Eid). I liked the loud and gaudy Durga Pooja celebrations. I like Easter candy. I think Halloween is great. And after all of this self-indulgence, a good, restraint-filled Buddhist holiday would bring it all back into perspective for me.

So, instead of arguing over the fine line that exists between Church and State, I think we should all just load up on egg nog and fruitcake. Although I think egg nog is gross, so I'll just have some other beverage. And I guess I'd rather have chocolate cake than fruitcake. But just because I think egg nog is gross doesn't mean I will restrict others from enjoying egg nog. It is, as they say, a free country. Isn't it?

The FACE of 29.

Hmmm, I'm not sure I like being almost thirty. Somebody at Isaac's school called me "Mrs. Zaman" the other day and it took me a while to realize that she was addressing me!

The other day, my sister told me that an article of clothing I wanted was "too young" for me. Ouch. But TKP says that as long as I have Rage Against the Machine on my iPod, I'm still rad.









There will be no big celebration tonight, although my mom is dropping off cake and veggie lasagna. Everyone is working late, and who cares about birthdays when you're turning 29 anyways? And don't even get me started on the whole "birthday this close to Christmas" deal.









Peace out, everyone. I'm going to have brownies for lunch, because dammit it's my birthday.

GAWD!

Is the weekend seriously almost over? All I have to show for it is a half empty laundry basket - which is quite an accomplishment seeing as it was overflowing two days ago.

Quick poll: How many loads of laundry per week are average for a family of three?

We had a grand total of six loads this week. Is that a lot? I feel like it's a lot. How many times is it okay to wear pants before washing them? Sometimes I feel like one time is enough, but then I try to be an environmentalist and wear them again, but I feel gross about it. I hate it when the knees are all baggy and hang down. Isaac wears his pants twice, but that's because he only has three pairs and has no choice sometimes. Socks and underwear are definitely a one-hit-wonder, but what about shirts? I mean, if you don't spill coffee down the front and you wore deodorant, is it okay to wear them twice?

Anyway, Isaac has become an EMOTIONAL WRECK now that I put the Christmas presents out. I'm trying to explain to him that xmas is for giving, not receiving. But he asks me every five minutes if he can open a present yet, and then when I say no he starts to bawl..."It's too hard to wait, mom! I'm only FIVE!" So I gave in this weekend. I know, bad mom. He'll have like one present left to open on Christmas. But one is better than NONE!

I guess I better gear up for the week. I woke up with a sore throat and have felt crappy all day, so lets see how well this week goes, eh? Only four days though! Friday is a holiday.

And Tuesday is my birthday. CAKE!

The Goblet comes to Montello

We finally saw the new Harry Potter movie last night! For those of you who do not know, Montello has a rad little movie theater - pictured to the left in a terribly dark and gloomy photography. I think I took that picture right before it dumped about 7 inches of snow on us.
Isn't our theater cute? It has one screen and these uncomfortable wooden seats, but the ticket prices ($3 - all ages, all shows) can't be beat! Last night, Masud, Isaac and I went to see the movie, and it cost a grand total of $16, including large popcorn and soda, gummi worms and gobstoppers. What a deal!

My sister, however, wanted to see Narnia, so she drove 45 minutes to Portage, where she paid $7.50 per ticket and a lot more for her sourpatch kids.

We really enjoyed the movie, although it was a little bit scary for Isaac. He didn't understand a lot of it - I spent half an hour explaining to him why Harry's parents came back when he was fighting Voldemort. Isaac's probably way too young for this movie, but I never would have been able to get away with not letting him see it. He'll get it in a few years, and it was a fun family night anyway!

Have a great weekend everyone, and don't forget to vote for my NYR! (My hit counter shows that lots of people have visited since I posted the vote request, but only three people have voted so far. Let's get crackin'! This is a democratic blog!)

A vote: What Should Katie's New Year's Resolution Be?

I never took NYR's seriously until three years ago when I resolved to floss every day. I actually started flossing every day, and I still do it. It didn't cure my cavity-prone-ness (Sonya the dentist, do you have any input on that?) but it sure did make those twice yearly cleanings less painful! I discovered that NYR's are a great way (for me) to change a bad habit or start a new good one.

This year I'm having trouble deciding what to resolve. I need your help. Below are some of my ideas (with rationale), and I want you, my loyal readers, to vote on which one I should take on.

If you think you have a better one than I listed, feel free to submit it. It has to go by these rules, though:
1) It can not have anything to do with losing weight, exercising, or otherwise restricting/requiring diet or exercise.
2) It has to be feasible - and feasible for you may not be feasible for me. (If you don't know me in real life, here's a clue. I prefer sitting to any other activity. So don't recommend that I take up hiking. See rule #1.)
3) It has to be free. I'm broke. (Yes, I know I have a job now, but I'm still broke.)

So here are my ideas. Friendly critiques are encouraged.

1) (My personal favorite) I resolve to read all the books that are on my book shelf that I have purchased but not read yet.

Rationale: I have the habit of buying books because I love them and want to read them at some point. Usually, I am already reading too many books and the new book goes on the bookshelf for "later". I have about 25 books that need to be read. Fiction, non-fiction, self help, spiritual, poetry - they are just waiting for me. But I keep getting other books from the library or buying new books, and these have just sat here - some of them for years - and every time we move I get mad at myself for not reading them. If I read them, then I can get rid of them and not have to lug them around the world with me (and buy more).

2) I resolve to learn the art of palm reading.

Rationale: This is something that I've wanted to do for a while, but it became a more prominent goal when I was in India last January. Kei, Tanya and I went to a weirdo palm reader on the beach in Kerala (check my blog archives from January 2005 - I'm too tired and lazy to put in a link). Then we went to a less weird palm reader/astrologer in Kolkata. It was so fun! Then I bought a palm reading book in a bookstore there, and I decided to learn how. Think of how cool I'll be at parties! I won't be stuck for things to talk about every again!

3) I resolve to learn Spanish.

Rationale: This would be a good career move - people who can speak Spanish are IN DEMAND, especially in the human services fields. It's been a personal goal for a while, but I have lacked the determination. A NYR might just do the trick.

4) I resolve to go through all of the Bangla workbooks that I bought in Bangladesh, so that I don't forget how to read Bangla.

Rationale: It was damn hard to learn how to read Bangla, and I don't want that to go to waste! This probably would not be a great asset to me in my career (presently, anyway) but it would be a rad skill to have.

5) I resolve to save my spare change in a jar, and when the jar is full, to put it into the savings account that I do NOT spend.

Rationale: Who are we kidding. That one is never gonna happen. I'd probaby spend it all on books!

Isaac's comments about the KKK.

Setting: I am reading Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell. Isaac is bored, so I read some of it out loud to him. It happens to be a paragraph about Martin Luther King Jr. and the KKK. It said something about the KKK stealing babies. (Yes. I realize now that maybe this wasn't an appropriate paragraph to read to my five year old.)

Isaac: Mom, what is KKK?
Me: It's a group of white people that think they are better than all other people who are not white. They are mean.
Isaac: Why did they steal the babies?
Me: They are bad guys. Don't worry, they don't live around here.


Fifteen minutes later, we go to the library to return the book.


Isaac (to the librarian): Did you know about the KKK?
Librarian: Yes, I know a little about them.
Isaac: They are bad guys. They steal babies. We should call the police to put them in jail.
Librarian: That's a good idea.
Isaac: I know.

Speaking of Bombs...

There have been TWO bomb threats in the past TWO weeks at the local high school. Isaac's elementary school is attached to the high school, so the threats resulted in all children being evacuated. The younger kids walked across the street to the nursing home, and the high schoolers had to sit on cold buses for three hours with no coats. (For those of you who live in warm parts of the country, it has been near zero degrees farenheit here for the past few weeks.)

The administration is MAD. Their budget is already tight, and these incidents require lots 'o cash to resolve. In a small community like this, it's not something we can afford to spend money on. The art department resorted to selling ice cream during lunch as a means of raising cash (I know the teacher is buying supplies out of her own pocket - a fact that is very common around here.) I have heard that one of the neighboring towns has had four bomb threats so far this year at their school. If each of these incidents costs $5000, that adds up to a huge chunk of the budget.

I wonder if the number of bomb threats/school violence incidents goes up when our nation is at war. Every day, we are bombarded with images of war, warned of the risk of terrorism, and told that violence is the way to safety and freedom. What kind of message does that send to our children?

Here come the suicide bombers.

There has been a recent hike in the number of violent bomb incidents in Bangladesh. The government is trying to crack down on Islamic fundamentalism, and the radical groups are retaliating. They have started using suicide bombers.

My heart is breaking for Bangladesh.

Say what?

Setting: Our living room, Katie and Isaac watching TV. It's been an intense day of sickness, nose blowing, medicating and doctor's visits. Katie is surfing the net, Isaac is blowing his nose.

Isaac, looks up suddenly: It's hard to take care of kids, isn't it, mom?
Katie: It sure is, dude, but I love taking care of you.
Isaac, pondering: I love that you take care of me.
Katie - feels warm and fuzzy...
Isaac: Mom?
Katie: Yes, baby?
Isaac: I just farted.

So much for warm fuzzies.

Transitions Suck.

Research has proven it, and now I'm livin' it.

Isaac is sick, AGAIN, and I had to stay home from my new job already. Sigh. It just so happens that he got sick on the day that my mom and dad were busy and Masud had a big meeting at work. So much for my "support system"!

Hopefully the bugs will work themselves out soon. Bug #1: Isaac has been SO SICK for the past few months. He has filled his sick-quota for the entire school year, I think. Bug #2: What do working mothers do when their kids are sick? They can't go to school, and should not go to day care either, so what do people do? Especially single moms, what do they do? Please tell me!!! Bug #3: I don't officially have an office yet, and I don't have a schedule yet, either. Hmmmm. Hard to plan ahead.

I'm really tired, too, because I was up all night with him last night. I think I'm gonna turn in early. Like right now. Nite nite. Zzzzzzzz.

If you have time...

check out this post by one of my favorite bloggers, Bitch Ph.D., about her radical married feminist manifesto. Fair warning: there are swear words in this post, but damn, they're worth it.

My friends are in the news!

Kathy Ward sent me this link to a picture of my Nari Jibon friends. They are in a group called Ulka Nari Shongbad, and were marching in a Dhaka procession for World AIDS Day. I think I can make out Anowara in the back and I recognize Suriya's forehead in the middle...the women in front are also familiar. You go girls!

I'm home.

It's always good to get away for a few days, but even better to come home. DC was great, nice and warm actually, but I was pretty busy. Plus, for some reason, I couldn't sleep - so I am exhausted today. I had hoped to meet up with fellow bloggers and hospitable Bangladeshis Zeenat and Tanveer, but it was not to be. Maybe next time, dudes!

Thursday morning I managed to run over to the Smithsonian Museum of American History, where - this is going to sound nerdy - I gleefully viewed Abraham Lincoln's top hat and other presidential memorabilia, because I just finished reading Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell. I also put a penny in one of those machines that squishes it flat and prints a little design on the front. Yes, I am a total dork. Picture me running through the exhibits (because I've got to catch my plane) - I got a map ahead of time and knew right where to go - up to the third floor for the Lincoln exhibit, then down to the first floor for the First Ladies exhibit, then the lower level for the penny squishing.

I will understand if none of you return to my blog for a long time.

Masud and Isaac survived my absence, and Masud even did the laundry and washed the dishes while I was gone! Maybe there is hope, after all!

Time for me to get a little work done and then go up to school to observe Isaac's recess shenanigans. He's been having issues with getting picked on at recess and I'm going up to make sure it stops. Nobody picks on my boy, even if his mom is huge dork!

Carb Orgy

Since I don't eat meat, I generally glut on carbs during the holidays. Yesterday I enjoyed a plate full of the worst simple carbohydrates possible...rolls, potatoes, stuffing...and complemented it with my grandma's special cranberry/orange salad and about a quart of dill pickles. Then I polished it off with the pumpkin pie I made - not too shabby although the crust was hard as cardboard.

It was nice to have my family here. We all squeezed into the living room, and I forgot to take pictures. I am usually really good about taking pictures but this year I spaced out. Oh well, I'm sure there will be another chance at Christmas. We opened a bottle of wine, which was apparently very potent, because Masud needed a three hour nap after guzzling a glass. I stuck to beer - wine gives me a headache.

Although I swore to myself several years ago that I would never go shopping on the day after Thanksgiving again, I needed to get some clothes so I braved the mall. It was horrible and I hurt myself on someone's stroller. Why on earth would any sane mother take her young children shopping on a day like today? Please tell me? The sales are not even that great!!

Anyways, the reason that I needed to buy clothes is a good one. Ladies and gentlemen, you will all be relieved to know that I am no longer a HOUSEWIFE. Yes, as of 5:30 on Wednesday, I am the County Prevention Coordinator! I am starting on Monday at 11:33 a.m., when I will board a plane for DC and attend two days of mandatory training for the grant that supports my salary. Talk about hitting the ground running! I am spending the weekend reading pages and pages of goals and objectives, trying to familiarize myself with the substance abuse prevention program I will be implementing over the next five years.

Masud is very happy that he's not the sole breadwinner anymore, and I'm happy to be able to contribute to the family money pot. I really think I'll like this job - it's exactly what I went to school for (and why I should not be using dangling prepositions in my writing). Plus, I don't have to drive very far, only about 15 minutes. Let's hear it for short commutes! And free trips to DC!

In other news, Isaac lost another tooth today. He has a bit of a lisp!

Today's List

I'm allowing myself a blog post as long as I can do it while I finish my morning cuppa. There's a lot to do around here and it appears that I am the only one here to do it. Thanksgiving dinner is to be held at my house, and that means I need to make it grandma-proof by the end of tomorrow - not an easy task when we're in rennovation mode!

Here is my to do list, in no particular order:

1) Finish painting the bedroom walls.
2) Paint bedroom trim.
3) Move furniture where it belongs.
4) Organize the house so that people can walk through it without breaking a hip.
5) Shorten (and iron) my new curtains for the living room so they don't ignite on the baseboard heater.
6) Find a clean surface on which to place my small tinsel tree (Thanksgiving tradition - put tree up after we eat).
7) Vacuum and mop (Uggggg)
8) Laundry
9) Go to second job interview at 2:15
10) Wrap presents that will be prizes in our family bingo game.
11) Figure out where to seat 10 people. (Scrounge up some plates.)
12) Buy ingredients for pumpkin pie (mmmmmm).
13) Make pumpkin pie.

I hate to end my post on that unlucky number, but I just got a mouthful of coffee grounds, so that must mean I'm done.

Stay tuned for cute pictures of Isaac, who lost his first tooth yesterday!

Bangladeshi people are happy people.

A friend of mine emailed me this BBC story about a survey that they conducted in Bangladesh. I was already aware of most of the findings, but the last page reminded me of something I used to say all the time. "Bangladeshi people are some of the poorest in the world, but despite that fact, they are happy."

I stopped saying that after I spent nine months there, because I saw a lot of sadness and grief. Honestly, it's very hard to be happy when you are starving. Yes, people that I met briefly - rickshaw-wallahs, taxi drivers, guards - spoke of their happiness and pride in their country. They would always ask me, "English Madam, what do you think of my country?" I would reply that I love Bangladesh, and watch their face brighten in a shining smile of white teeth. They would tell me how happy they are.

But there were people that I got to know on a more intimate level - my friends at Nari Jibon, Momota - who helped me take care of Isaac, the house girls that lived with me in Malibag - they showed me the dark side of living in poverty. It is a place where happiness lies in usually unattainable things like safety, regular meals, a new outfit - things we take for granted every day in the US.

What I realized from this survey, which says that "70% of those canvassed agreed with the statement 'I am happy with my life today'," is that maybe this display of happiness has more to do with national pride and religious beliefs than actual happiness. Bangladeshis are very proud of their country - and rightfully so, since they fought so hard for it in 1971. They want bideshis (foreigners) to have a good impression of their country. Muslims believe that all the things that happen in our lives - both good and bad - are the will of Allah. Being unhappy with what Allah has given us would be a terrible and disrespectful sin. Many times, during times of hardship, I've heard people say, "It is the grace of Allah. It is the mercy of Allah. Allah knows what's best. Jak - Allah-Barashah"

Sometimes I do wonder - if, by some miracle, the grinding poverty, social inequality, corruption and tendency towards natural disasters could be lifted from Bangladesh, how would that change the expression of happiness in Bangladesh. What a glorious thought - to see the hopeful happiness that they project become reality.

A Messy House

Here is what I am dealing with - we have to paint the walls before we can put in the floor, and we have to put in the floor before we put stuff away. So it's a mess in here. To prove it, here are some pictures.



The living room is a dark chocolate brown. Very yummy. I need to install some lights eventually, but it's coming out nicely.




Isaac's room is DONE - even the floor is in! He loves it. He's a neat freak and the messiness in the rest of the house was driving him bananas.




We chose a color called "Greench" for our office. It's a celery green. We have started calling this "The Kermit Room".




Our bedroom will be the last to be finished, since it will require taking apart our mammoth bed. I thought I wanted to paint it blue, but I'm sick of blue. Now I'm considering grey - I think I need a muted color to go with my bright wall hangings. Any advice?

I'm Feeling Lucky

Things are coming along nicely with our house...Isaac's room is done, the living room is painted, the office is almost painted, and hopefully we will lay the floor for both the office and living room this weekend. That will help a lot with the small, dangerous piles of rubble that cover the floors. We have to wear our shoes in the house - a cultural taboo in Bangladesh, but a necessary evil here.

I'm not quite up to writing a witty post yet, so bear with me. In the mean time you may want to entertain yourself with this little trick that my brother told me about. Go to Google and type "failure" in the search field. Click on the "I'm feeling lucky" button. (If you have the Google Toolbar, click on the arrow of the search button and scroll down to "I'm Feeling Lucky".)

When the page comes up, please come back here and tell me what you think about the results. Was it a hacker? Does somebody at Google have it out for Bush? Whatever the case, it's pretty funny.

Do you know about this?

Thanks to Zeenat, who gave me another reason to procrastinate.

PostSecret

List Mania (written on Friday...finally got around to posting!)

1. I’m too pooped to think of a theme for today’s post, so I’m going with another disjointed list. Living in a cluttered mess has definitely affected my gray matter.
2. Belated Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim friends! Eid was a bummer this year at our house – all I had time/energy to cook was some polau and meatballs. To tell you the truth, since I didn’t fast at all this year, I didn’t even realize it was Eid until my brother-in-law called. Masud’s sister Maya is really sick and in the hospital, so a somber attitude prevails in all of our Eid phone conversations.
3. Congratulations to my friend Wendy who got engaged last weekend!!! I’m already looking forward to the wedding. I’m planning to eat lots of cake.
4. I’ve been working in my dad’s gym all week so he can do things like install my natural gas water heater, my washer and dryer hookups, and figure out what the gross smell is coming from the back porch (my guess is: Dead Mouse). Since I’m here anyway, I’ve actually been exercising. I’d love to tell you that I feel great and will definitely keep it up, but that’s a lie.
5. I bought some paint for the bedrooms. I chose a slate blue – darker for our bedroom and lighter for Isaac’s. I thought it was a nice twilight color, sleep conducive, but I painted a 2-foot section and decided it looks more like a dungeon than anything. I bought another gallon of white and I’m going to try some mixing this weekend.
6. Still no news on a job for me. Sigh. I sent in my fingerprints and essential info with $100, so hopefully soon I’ll get my substitute teaching license.
7. Kathy Ward is going to Bangladesh on November 22. I’m jealous, and I really miss my friends there. I miss my friends in Minnesota, too. Lots of missing.
8. Isaac informed me that if he had a magic lamp with a genie in it, he would wish that he never had to go to school again. Apparently worksheets are boring.
9. I am sick AGAIN! I have had three consecutive colds in the past month and a half, all of them with their own special ickyness. I have the feeling that all the carpet removal will help. We bought some of that fake wood flooring and we’re excited to start laying it down this weekend.
10. A woman came into my dad’s gym yesterday while I was there – she is a little older than my mom. Her daughter, who was a little older than me, was killed in a car accident last week. Reality check.